That can also depend upon how bad the marriage is. In some situations, a couple might stay together for the children…or they’ll try to stay together when the kids are younger and more dependent upon them.
But there are some marriages which are extremely dysfunctional. For example, maybe the husband is verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to his family. In such a situation…living with one parent who is of sound mind and character is MUCH BETTER than living in an abusive household where the children’s self-esteem is destroyed and they are picking up harmful behaviors from their parents.
Adults often think that children are so naive that they don’t know what’s going on. They’d be surprised at how perceptive little ones can be. Their minds are like sponges…they pick up their parents’ body language…they can sense when there is consistent tension in the household. And they also learn either positive or negative ways of dealing with conflicts from their parents.
If the marriage is a hell-hole…what message are parents sending to their kids by sticking it out? That they should be miserable? That there’s no way out? That they should put up with things when there’s zero hope of improvement at the detriment of their health? How would this affect their development?
I’ve given an extreme example…but what you decide depends upon your situation. While divorce is disliked in Islam…Allah has allowed us a way out especially if one sees that things are only getting worse.
I personally don’t believe in either black or white solutions…where one says k koi kaam bilkul bhi nahin karna chahiye. I don’t think that’s wise. It’s better to consider all aspects of a situation before making a decision. Issi main aqal mandi hai.