British Pakistani girls marrying Pakistani guys

[Princess1983]

Re: British Pakistani girls marrying Pakistani guys

@Sanaya123

I’ve read through the advice above and there is some extremely good points there, I guess I was probably expecting someone to give me a third option where I don’t marry the guy and everyone’s happy

A few people mentioned that the guy has probably changed since 17, which is what my sis also thought, but when she went to Pakistan with her husband last year and lived with the family for a month, she said he’s probably gotten worse than before, on one occasion, she was out with her husband, MIL and this guy, she was driving n her husband asked her if he could take over, when hos brother started getting really pissed off that he asked her permission.

Both the instances I’ve mentioned here my sis discussed with her husband, he agreed that his brother was wrong but denied that it was his fault, he told her that in Pakistan from a young age he and his bro have been told by the elders that they would marry and come to the UK, whenever they’ve thought about studying or their career options they’ve been put down and told not to bother as they’ll be moving to England. This guy has now completely left his education and doesn’t work at all, I earn more in a week than he’s earned in his entire life.
Im a very career oriented person and the thought of a 21 year old living off his father, really makes me lack any respect that I would have had for him.

But actually more then him, I blame his family his mentality

With all due respect OP; if your sister is telling you that what she witnessed may imply he has gotten worse why oh why do you wish to torture yourself in the long run?
IMHO if you struggle to respect someone it’s hard to build it-especially on subjects you believe in. I believe you should work hard for a living; and earn your own keep. It annoys the hell out of me when you get requests for £500.00 phones for siblings that sit at home doing nothing ‘because their sibling is in England’.
His mentality will be a mixture of a lot of things-including his upbringing, his social circle and his own personality.
The fact he got annoyed at the whole ‘permission’ thing to be should have your alarm bells ringing and you putting your heart firmly on a decision that may cause pain in the short run for your family yes but in the long run it’s less headache.
Sorry if I missed this but this is your sisters BIL right? How does your BIL feel if you don’t marry his brother? Will it be one of those situ’s where you sister is stopped from seeing her family? If that’s the case just prepare for a temporary crying/hissy fit phase from the extended family.