Okay, so this probably doesn’t just refer to British Pakistani’s but all girls abroad getting married to Pakistani guys.
I am going to Pakistan in a few months time with my parents to get married to my first cousin…that thought alone makes me sick to my stomach. But, I wouldn’t mind too much if the guy wasn’t an arrogant and selfish guy who has at least 3 girlfriend’s as Im writing this. The last time I saw this guy was 4 years ago when we were both 17, I went to Pakistan for my brothers wedding, and spent alot of time with his family during this time, and although our engagement was merely being discussed at the time, he assumed it was okay for him to tell me what I can and cannot do. For example, on one instance, we were at a park and I was talking to his sister, when a group of girls wearing Western clothing walked past us, my cousin sister was only 13 at the time and she found this very funny, and she asked me whether I also wear jeans etc when I’m in the UK, although Im from a very conservative family, and only wear Salwar suits excluding work, I thought it would be funny to say yes I do, the guy was also within hearing distance and he said to me ‘wait until I come to England, I will make sure you don’t’. I was so pissed off, I mean, we didn’t even actually end up getting engaged at the time, and my dad was also there, he had no right to say anything of the sort to me.
I know you guys will advise me to not marry him if I don’t like him, but I have a problem, my parents would be okay about it if I said no to marrying him, but they want me to be married by 22, and cannot find a guy in the UK as most of our relatives are in Pakistan or completely out of my age range and my parents aren’t keen on marrying me to someone they don’t know properly, and I don’t want to stereotype, as I know from this site that there are decent Pakistani guy’s, but judging from my brothers in laws and most pakistani relatives that I have I don’t think I can ever marry a Pakistani.
I just wanted to ask other girls that are or have been in this situation how they felt, I mean even if this guy was nice, how do you know if they want to marry you for you or for the visa abroad that you can provide them.
I can’t discuss my marriage at all with my western friends ad they have no idea, either they think my parents are horrible for forcing me into this, which they are not, or they expect me to be ecstatic about the wedding. I mean, why do we not have weddings where the couple take oath to love and cherish one another, for better and for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health until death shall do them apart. Instead, we have to say I do to a name and his parents monthly income.
So guys and girls, any opinions on this type of arranged marriages