I have a friend who is just average in looks, but has a pretty great personality… and alot of people find her charming… UNTIL she gets comfortable enough with people and starts talking for more than 10 minutes. After ten minutes, she starts praising herself and comparing herself to the moon and the stars. “I’m this, im that, everybody wants to be me, I’m awesome, every guy wants to be with me, every girl wishes she was like me… this one is jealous of me, that one is trying to sabotage me and my job cuz he/she is jealous.” Paranoi and self-love to the EXTREMES. I actually feel quite embarassed FOR her and BY her when she starts her neverending speech of all her good qualities. It’s getting to the point where I tell her to stop cuz 1) it makes her look like a complete idiot and 2) it’s just plain annoying.
A couple days ago we were in a social setting, and there were literally beautiful girls everywhere you turned… comparable to models and the like. And she starts asking her boyfriend (who by the way has been quite annoyed by her self-praising also… he always teases her and says apnay moonh mitha— whatever the saying is!) “who do you think has the most charisma in this room? Who stands out the most? Can you see the envy in every girl’s eyes? Their guys are almost drooling at the sight of me.” He was looking at me trying to stifle laughter… if I could read his mind.. Im sure he was wondering… you want the truth or you want me to lie to you?And I couldn’t help but burst out laughing… and she actually had the nerve to get mad at me! She rolled her eyes and said “God dont tell me you wanna join the hater club too.”
I had half a mind to just shut her up and bring her back down to Earth by showing her a mirror but decided to play nice…
Anyone have experiences with such people? How do you deal with them??? It’s so frustrating.
She seriously needs to lose that over-confidence. She doesn’t need it.
Some self praise is good for self confidence. Too much of it is annoying. Now you need to show self confidence and burst her bubble and tell her like it is. You need to tell her that her constant babbling about herself is annoying for you. You need to tell her that she does not need to prove herself to you or impress you , you already are her friend but if she does not cut down her mian mittho time she will loose you as a friend.
I did say she has a great personality but only in the first ten minutes of meeting her. I know her from waaaaay back in 7th grade… we actually used to be good friends… then she moved away a few years ago and now she’s back… she was ok at first cuz she kept the bragging to a minimum.. with me at least… but now she’s just so annoying with the khudtareefi. Alot of times she actually starts to look like a major loser and yet she still puts herself on a pedestal… like helllllooooo you’re the only one who feels that way about yourself… no one else thinks you’re ALL THAT… I wasn’t so bothered by it till this last meeting… where she thought I was jealous of her… AS IF! It totally pissed me off and turned me off…
I would have more respect for her if she didnt try to be something she’s not… if she was actually just her normal self and not trying to validate herself all the time. It’s like she tries to mask her inferiority complex by acting superior all the time. Or maybe its just a superiority complex and she really believes everyone else is inferior. She should be the last person to feel that way.
Try telling her that. And If she thinks you are one of the ppl who hate her for being what ever she thinks she is then let her be fool in front of every one.
''Anti-narcissism pills'' is what your friend needs(I'm not sure if they're available in the market though),as it appears.This must have some reasonable psychological reasons behind it,as it is,self-praising really is one vexatious 'disease' one can think of.
When people are not praised well-enough and are not often attented to,they take refuge in lying,narcism,self-interest so on and so forth.They become rather too self-obsessed that they forget how they're making racoons out of themselves.But there are times when reality hits them,and it hits real hard.I suggest you let her live the 'narcissist way' since making her realise will only make her more furious and see you as one of the 'loathers' in line,which will make you feel irritated and bad in return.For now hope that she sees the light pretty soon lol.
P.S:Yes,there are people like THAT in this world too,to one's rue.
i have a friend from islamabad
he thinks him self as an elite. bieng from a rich family and studied at good co ed O/A level school. he thinks ppl living in rest of the cities are just paindoos and dont understand any thing and ppl from islamabad are big intellectuals. he is a really sisy boy cant do him self any thing. he just goes on and on and on how ppl from islamabad are elites (i m starting to hate the word eleite now) and rest are khooty school pass ignorants and my god he is so judgemetal. some times he talks rubbish like u wont believe ur ears and wonder what kind of elite is this oh my lord give hime wisdom cause his thinking stays in circle.
I use to ignore all that but now our conversations end with big arguments and not talking to each other for days cause i tell him on his face what he is.
Riya, she will learn on her own, when someone will say something really hurtful to her.
it is nice that you are trying to help her. but these things often dont go like this.
full stop is when it does not get any more racier that is already gets.
so pray that your friend does not get herself into a self reproach attitude and further dissolves her self respect and worth.
you can always warn her to not be in places where she would think to herself that , well, she is not from this planet.
her feet will touch the ground, only when her head is less full of assumptions and more filled with modest substance.
It totally pissed me off and turned me off…
.. oh oh I know, show her this thread 