Did you have any?
If yeah, how involved were they?
What did you assign for them to do?
What did you have them wear? What kind of bouquets?
Did you do anything special for them by the end of it all?
How was the overall experience?
I have two wonderfully amazing maid of honors for my rukhsati who I am very close to- my sister and sumorani. Im really excited because having them means being comfortable with who you choose and knowing you can trust them, their decisions and advice to you.
I might just keep it small since I have already planned out alot of stuff with these two but if needed, I’ll be adding on my cousin as a third one. And since I don’t really like the term bridesmaids, both of them (or even all three of them) will be the maids of honor. Im in the process of collecting pictures/ideas, and planning a get together so we can sit down somewhere nice and go over stuff.
What’s most exciting part for me is discussing their outfits and bouquets!
Please share your experience. Since this is something new for us, I would love to hear what everyone has to say!
^aww thats wonderful! i didnt realize you and sumorani were so close :) all the best with your planning inshaAllah...
I'm doing the same thing, my sister and my best friend are my maid of honor and bridesmaid. They are the only people who I can truly trust with ANYTHING, and I know they wouldn't ever give me bad advice. I'm not a huge fan of the Western styled matching bridesmaids outfits in desi weddings, so I think they'll probably wear the same type of outfits but in different colors and different kaam. Plus I want them to be able to wear what best suits them and their individual tastes.
They've helped me plan different things, but I'm mostly going to need their help for decorating our room and the mehndi thaals.
When you said "bridesmaids" I immediately thought of SGC's sage muses. They looked beautiful wearing those ethereal and flowy saris.
My cousins were all with me and keeping an eye on everything. Whether I was sitting straight or slouching, making sure my make up was fresh, my dress was ok....etc etc
I think thats really great! Having a maid of honor can be so much easy and this way the bride doens't have to do EVERything.
I remember one bride gave something special like a nice necklace that was to be kept in memory of this whole wedding experience. Maybe you can have them wear similar or same color of outfits but different designs you know. You know on your wedding day, thye can helo you organize with everything from your outfit to shoes to even the smallest thing like hair pins, Ha! I was the "made of honor" for my sisters engagement/nikah then, it was fun since I took care of her stuff while she got ready and she took a lot of my input but my makeup and hair was done in a rush b/c i was helping her out thu out.
I think its a good idea and don't forget to take pics...since u can put it in an album and always remember it! btw i really thought u were married already b/c u once posted a pic of a beautiful bride and i thought it was u =/
^lol, Im already married. Im having my rukhsati soon =)
Your ideas sound nice.
Honestly, I want my M.O.H to have fun on my mehndi and wedding day rather than being my slaves. I need their help most in the days leading upto the wedding but once it's time for the events to start, I want them to dress up and enjoy it as much as possible rather than being bogged down with work to do. I'll leave all that for wedding planners instead =)
Guess the Maid of Honors most important role is to make sure the bride is RELAXED!!! The million smiles I got from my friends and cousins, the support, the compliments meant so much to me! When I couldnt go into the dining room; my food was brought and every need was catered to!
I was so nervous that on one of the main events I dropped chicken karahi on my anarkali before going downstairs for the rasams!! thank god my friend was there and fixed everything up. No one could tell there was a bright orange-yy stain only 10 minuutes before.
Clothes wise--everyone has their own thing. Some like total matching, others like using particular color or style (sari, lengha, gharara) etc. As for the flowers--it depends on personal preference and the time of the year. Exotic or traditional:)
I wanted them all to wear light kaamdani saris in diff colors on the valima--but they didnt want:(:( lol
At the end--I dont remember wht they were wearing etc--all I remember is how sweet they were!
i have been a bridesmaid quite a few times and your job is to help de-stress thebride and her family. certain things came up that we didn't originally plan for like when aunties wanted us bridesmaids to help them get ready because they were running late. the brides shoe broke, we had a backup pair :) thngs like that.
before the wedding we arranged sangeet nights or small mendhi/dholki parties. we went with the bride on appts for decor, food, cake tastings YUM, bridal conventions to look at vendors and DJs and photographers and so forth. we helped select clothing because that in itself was a huge task. helped remind the bride of appts for makeup and hair trials, even went with her to give her a 2nd opinion. we tried to think of everything. some brides got a bridal suite and chose to get ready at the hotel which was great the makeup and hair people came to us which saved time and helped keep the bride calm on her big day. once the dj was arrested and we had to find a last min dj literally an hour before she was going to walk down the aile to her mandap and we did but we couldn't tell the bride the dj was in jail, didn't want to freak her out and all. but anything you can do to help the parents or the bride is what your bridesmaids should do. i can't tell yall how many veggies i cut months before the wedding bc the brides family were harvesting veggies for dishes they planned to serve the night of the bridal garba (gujurati kinda mendhi). we helped put up xmas lights and did a lot of airport shuttles to hotels and such as guests arrived.
oh a nice thing was we went to costco and bought items in bulk like peanuts, cashews, fruit snacks, chips, instant coffee, gum and such. we made welcome baskets for each of the groom's hotel rooms so that when their family arrived they would have more than enough snacks to get them through the wedding week of festivities. the bride ordered bottled water labels that read their wedding day and names so that was a nice touch and really impressed the guests. as the groom's side drove up (in 2 chartered buses) we welcomed each guest and gave them a basket if it wasn't already in their room. we had maps and points of interest for things to do just incase family wanted to go out in the day before a night activity. we also sent food for lunches and such to the hotel and set up the breakfast area with desi dishes for the guests to enjoy. it was hard work.
also the last time i was a bridesmaid i was lucky bc the brides father purchased our matching saris and jewelry...normally a bridesmaid pays or even in western weddings you would go to a bridal shop and order your gown in your size and then go back when it arrives for alterations and such. oh a big thing a bridesmaid can do is help the bride pack for her move after marriage, and make a party out of it.
BR, par, thanks ladies! very sweet of you to say :)
my girls were my two bff's, my closest cousin, and my hubby's sister. they threw me my shower, took care of a million big and little things in the days up to the wedding, calmed me down numerous times esp. the night before, and made sure i had zero worries the day of. the important thing is: you gotta pick girls who love you and want to be there and be part of your bridal party as fun/dances aside, its still a responsibility. i had asked another gf of mine initially but she told me she couldn't manage to be there for me considering she had a new baby to take care of, so i asked another friend. and i really appreciated her honesty!
mum and i did a variety of "thank you" things for them too- paid for their hair and makeup on the day of the wedding, chooriyan and outfits for the mehendi, gift sets from the body shop, etc. these are all just tokens though- bff's are bff's! you can never really thank them! :)
At my older sisters wedding, me and my younger sisters were sort of like bridesmaids.
We wore the same pink outfits and had similar but smaller bouquets of flowers to my sister.
We were there throughout the day making sure she was ok etc, so we were unofficial bridesmaids.
But has anyone come across the situation of a friend being offended for not being selected to be one of your bridesmaids?
I think that happens all the time in Western weddings. Haven't heard about it in desi circles b/c the concept hasn't gained momentum, yet. :) I have read about many gora brides tearing their hair out trying include all their best girls in some way without success!
Vice versa, should a bride be offended if some of her top choices cannot participate i.e be her bridesmaids?
I think that happens all the time in Western weddings. Haven't heard about it in desi circles b/c the concept hasn't gained momentum, yet. :) I have read about many gora brides tearing their hair out trying include all their best girls in some way without success!
Vice versa, should a bride be offended if some of her top choices cannot participate i.e be her bridesmaids?
Well first off, this is assuming that each bridesmaid is playing an active role in supporting the wedding. I feel like sometimes when there are tons of bridesmaids, not all of them are actively involved, and some are just there out of ..obligation maybe? (Like a bride had to include a cousin as a bridesmaid, even though she wouldn't consider said cousin as a close friend?)
But if a friend is unable to be a bridesmaid, it would be disappointing. But letting the bride know up front would be better than making empty promises and then not helping out with the wedding.
I know which of my besties I would want to be my bridesmaids at my wedding, but I know there are like 2-3 cousins and really close family friends that think they are my best friends, but I really don't care about them much. And I know they will be offended and cause a drama if I have bridesmaids and they are not one of them. As much as I want to have bridemaids really badly, this potential for drama is really putting me off...