So I know in Western tradition the bride’s side pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses and accessories, but what about in Pakistani weddings?
There’s no bridesmaids per se but if the bride wants her close relatives to wear a certain colour on that day should she or her parents get them made, or pay for the outfits, or would you expect the relatives to do it themselves?
Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
Do it themselves. I think with colour themes or themes per se you as the bride suggest it and whoever wants to take part can. If they don't want to/can't then that's upto them.
I've asked people to wear certain colours but I also know that family would be buying new clothes for the wedding so it's not as if I'm asking them to spend extra money.
I am buying some items of clothing for some people though. Just as it makes it easier for me and I'm a perfectionist and I know they wouldn't get it right lol
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
My cousin in the UK is getting married on the 6th of may, and she told us around Dec/Jan that she wants her bridesmaids (or the girls on her side) to wear Blue...Electric Blue to be exact :D and she posted a pic on facebook of the colour tagged everyone in it....so we all just went off and bought our own outfits cos its not too matchy matchy but at the same time everyone can distinguish we are from the brides side.....
Personally i will be buying for my immediate cousins, and sister..... approx 8 girls.....because i want to make sure they stand out and i can find them on the day to do stuff for me hahaha :D
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
If the bride is allowing the girls to choose their own outfits...and is only telling them the color....then I don't think there is anything wrong with the bridemaid's paying for their own outfits. But if the bride or her family can afford to pay for it and want to....then by all means go ahead. :)
BUT in situation where the bride insists on all the bridemaids wearing identical outfits, and wants to pick out the exact outfit herself....then I think she should pay.
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
I dunno I’ve been in desi and american weddings and I think most brides wish they could afford to provide the bridesmaid dresses for everyone. At the end of the day they may not be able to afford that and girls should be more understanding.
From what I have seen most of the time bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own outfit. That’s why sometimes in american weddings you see bridesmaids get super grumpy bc they can’t pick the dress and it’s not a gown they would ever use or wear again and they have to pay for a dress that they don’t like. At the same time if the girl wants to be a part of her friend or family member’s wedding and is honored by being asked to be a bridesmaid and was asked to pay for her outfit I think she should suck it up, wear whatever it is with a smile and open her wallet and pay for it.
I loved the bridesmaid saris I wore back when belted sarees were the hot new trend. Luckily for us the bride’s father gifted these to us with a pendant set to go with it and bindis. We used our own bangles which wasn’t a big deal and we were all really overwhelmed that the bride’s parents did this for us because we knew how costly the wedding itself was. As you can see in this pic the maid of honor wore the same saree in a different color to set her apart and you can’t tell but the girls had slightly different saree blouse cuts in the front and back, some were sleeveless and such. Here’s a pic of how it turned out.
However all the other times I was a bridesmaid or even a flower girl I was responsible for the cost of the dress and I don’t see any problems with that.
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
So I know in Western tradition the bride's side pay for the bridesmaids' dresses and accessories, but what about in Pakistani weddings?
There's no bridesmaids per se but if the bride wants her close relatives to wear a certain colour on that day should she or her parents get them made, or pay for the outfits, or would you expect the relatives to do it themselves?
What Western tradition is this????? Lol. I've been a bridesmaid to my gori-friend and I paid for my own dress. I never expected her to as she was such a sweet friend of mine. I'd feel really greedy and selfish expecting her to pay for my dress. Plus she would have had to fork out a hell of a lot to buy every bridesmaids their outfits.
Wearing a certain colour is not such a big deal. Plus you're lost for choice and colour when picking out Asian clothes. If you don't want to wear the same colour then don't. I'm sure no one is forcing you. It just depends on how close you are to the Bride and it doesn't actually sound like you are close otherwise such a small issue wouldn't be problem for you and turned into a thread!
I think its a little selfish and unfair of the Bride's relatives to expect the bride to pay! would you want her to pay for your shoes and accessories as well? If you're that upset or finding it hard to afford a dress then tell the Bride and let her know.
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
:k:
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
i love this comment! In asian culture usually everyone of the guests usually pay for their own unless the bridesmaid is a sister
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
western tradition calls for the bride's maids to pay for their dresses while the bride gets to picks them out.
it is understood that with the honor of being a bride's maid there comes an expense and you need to be prepared to afford it or else step aside and let someone else do the job.....
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
The question was asked cos of the other bridemaid's dresses thread cos she didn't like her dress. I was just interested in what the protocol was.
And, I guess I'm wrong about the Western tradition then. I was kinda basing it on the TV show, Don't Tell the Bride where the groom has to incorporate the bridesmaids' outfits into his budget.
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
I know there's a whole thread on: whose day is it and just suck it up to make the bride happy, but, um NO! I'm not a fan of being made to feel like a piece of the decor and "match" the bride and her venue.
I've had relatives/friends tell me they had a colour theme and ask if I would participate. But they've been really good in that in the first instance - she said groom's side is wearing orange and the bride's side is wearing pink to mehndi. So please help to represent the groom's side by wearing orange. I did - but I got to choose the shade of orange and the style of outfit.
For my cousin's wedding, we've been told a colour theme. I have zero interest in looking like I'm part of an army of dozens so I'm ordering my own outfit in the colour of my preference. I don't feel disloyal or as if I'm spoiling her wedding by choosing what I want to wear - I see it as my prerogative to dress as it pleases me and show off my sense of style.
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
I'd only ever offer to pay for a 'bridesmaids' outfit if they were little girls. Like, under 10. Otherwise no, you or your mummy can pay for it.
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
I know there's a whole thread on: whose day is it and just suck it up to make the bride happy, but, um NO! I'm not a fan of being made to feel like a piece of the decor and "match" the bride and her venue.
I've had relatives/friends tell me they had a colour theme and ask if I would participate. But they've been really good in that in the first instance - she said groom's side is wearing orange and the bride's side is wearing pink to mehndi. So please help to represent the groom's side by wearing orange. I did - but I got to choose the shade of orange and the style of outfit.
For my cousin's wedding, we've been told a colour theme. I have zero interest in looking like I'm part of an army of dozens so I'm ordering my own outfit in the colour of my preference. I don't feel disloyal or as if I'm spoiling her wedding by choosing what I want to wear - I see it as my prerogative to dress as it pleases me and show off my sense of style.
I agree. I think it's kinda ridiculous to have your friends look like clones (usually in fugly outfits). I understand (kind of) where it's coming from, but as a bridesmaid in the past, I did NOTHING "bridesmaidy" besides wear an outfit that my friend had picked out me. So I didn't get the point. If there's a color that you want, that makes sense, but from all the weddings I've attended there only 1-2 where the bridesmaids looked like they were their own people. Most of the tme, they all seemed the same adn the outfits lacked any personality.
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I was a bridesmaid for a gora wedding and I paid for my own hideous dress...do you guys remember how I blogged about my pain?
I think some sort of uniformity is good but not so much that it creates an extra headache.
Re: Bridesmaid dresses - who pays?
I think there's no harm in asking bridesmaids to pay for their own clothes if they are part of your own family or very close friends, because the chances are they'd be buying clothes of your wedding anyway so you are probably making their life easier by giving them a colour scheme (but that is if you tell them early enough). But I find it very annoying when bridezillas call their college or on budget friends week or two before the wedding and tell them they have to wear a specific colour and that colour only. That doesn't make sense. It happpened to me in the past and I hear about it every now and then, I recently saw my sister friends begging the bride to change the colour because they neither have time nor sufficient funds to buy something nice enough in that particular colour for the wedding. So the point is, when you do these kinds of things, make sure you plan them well and consider the problems and wishes of your bridesmaids. I could understand why being a bridemaid would be an 'honour' in a traditional white wedding but its all a part of show in a desi wedding. I'm sure its not like that in all the Asain weddings, so hopefully no one gets offfended here.