Ok guys, I will be getting married soon (by mid 2011 InshAllah) and I am starting to put things together.
Anyways, As u all know, in our desi culture, Salamis are a norm and thats wat ppl give as gifts at weddings except close family n friends who give gifts along with the Salamis. My question is, I want to make like a wish list of things I am going to need after my wedding.. things for my kitchen, house etc. Like gora ppl do and then ur guests can access that list online n purchase one thing out of that and then others know that thing has been taken so they purchase something else. What do u guys think? Is that a good idea? Like my close family and friends would be able to access that list and choose things to give me out of that? Is that too much? Has anyone ever done that in the past or know somebody who has done that? If yes, then how was it? Did it work out? Was it weird?
Lotsa girls do that for their bridal shower and weddings. But I remember in particular when one of my close friends did it, she ended up with incomplete sets of things, such as dining sets. People would only buy her one or two serving dishes/plates, which adds up to less than what she would have gotten if they had given her cash. Which is another reason why nowanddays people write cash gifts only :/
So to answer, it's definitely not too much, and people here did it more in the past. Definitely not weird, it's actually easier.
You're talking about a registry... wishlist is a term typically used for things that are really out there, in terms of lavish and expensive....that you wouldn't really reasonably expect anyone to gift you.....like a 50,000$ diamond set, etc.
You're talking about a registry... wishlist is a term typically used for things that are really out there, in terms of lavish and expensive....that you wouldn't really reasonably expect anyone to gift you.
lol yea, i was thinking of the term.. registry. thats it! thanks :)
When you said "wishlist" I thought to myself, hmm a couple of 100,000s- a cream bentley- :)
but yeah you're talking about a wedding registry and it's common these days, just mention it casually and people who're interested will ask more about it. This way it doesn't seem as if you're imposing the registry on them. However, be specific about what you want on the registry and pick a wide variety of stuff with different budget ranges, so guests have a choice.
a couzin of mine got that done, but not in a formal arrangement, in terms of registry or sumthing, rather my khala upfront asked the 1st family relatives what they wanted to give and suggested them one of the things from the list (which are rather tandard, appliances, bed sheets, crockery set, etc)...
as they were close relatives, she explained them what they are looking for (as in how many pieces, which make,etc). It was easier too as my khala knew how much one could afford or would want to give otherwise too.
my khala was the eldest bahoo of the family, so maybe it was easier for her to be a bit commanding, but if you are not in that position that it would be a bit over-demanding (according to ppl); when we got it done on my sisters wedding, some people gossiped that as if we are begging them lolz.
so i guess it all depends on your circumstances...
but rationally speaking, its an idea that makes sense than having unwanted gifts. Cash is another alternative though (but then ppl get stingy there :P)
Your friends and recently married cousins would be okay with the idea but I don’t think wedding registries work with our older desi lot. You can make a wedding registry and spread the word around. Your gora friends/cousins can buy the items off your list and the family can give you cash gifts, too.
We didnt do a registry but my family asked my mom what she had bought so far for me and what was left. This way there were no duplicates. The big ticket items were ofcouse bought by my parents.
My dad has purchased everything that'll be needed and the list is known to others, so whatever they find from the list affordable and worth giving, they pay the amount to us and get things accredited to their name..
I find this an easy, reliable and wise method of lessening the overall financial burden along with giving people a chance to be a part of the entire wedding process!
While I don't think the bridal registry idea would work in a desi setup esp. in Pakistan, I just like the idea very much. The jehaiz thing takes care of all the things a couple might need to set up a new home, so the bridal registry becomes unnecessary. But, I would love to know what people would want to put on their registries if they had an option of creating one.