Just wanted to know how many of you breastfed and gor how long? Did you breastfeed exclusively or supplement with formula?
Im a first time mum, baby is a month old. I wanted to breastfeed exclusively before the baby was born, after the birth though I found it hard yo do so blecause the baby would not latch on properly/ it hurt etc. Everyone I knew said it gets better after 2 weeks so don’t give up…and it did ger better after 2 weeks but due to loads of visitors coming to see the baby I started relying on formula more and more…I was also scared I wasnt producing enough milk…should have faith that I was but I didnt…slowly I went onto formula completely apart from one feed a day which is mine. I used to pump for so e deeds earlier but stopped that coz my breast pump stopped working. She’s a month old now and my supply has gone down drastically.
I feel so guilty I wish I had stuck to it and not deprived my child. It’s my first baby and everywhere I look online they talk about formula being ‘Inferior’ and I just feel like I’ve let my baby down. I’m feeling quiet depressed about this.
oh lady, i cannot even begin to tell you what i went through with not being able to breastfeed and the guilt. it just eats at you and eats at you. don't let it. you did what worked best for you and so long as your baby got your colostrum and some of your milk, she's fine. since you are still feeling uneasy, know that it is NOT too late for you to start feeding exclusively but you'll have to work hard to get there and make feeding your baby a priority, visitors or not. can you get a nursing poncho or cover so you can feed in company or while out and about? or even go into a separate room if you are at home and feed her, visitors or not. and can you get another pump or repair yours?
since your supply hasn't stopped completely and it seems more of a management issue for you, i'd recommend making breastfeeding a priority and starting with latching her on * each* time you feed her instead of just once. you can top her off with formula if she's still hungry but only after she's off the breast, but basically, the more you feed her, the more milk your body will produce. its a pretty amazing system. and don't feel guilty- consider yourself SO lucky that it works for you and you can do it!
there are also herbs you can take to increase your supply.
if none of those are alternatives that will work for you, then remember, the main thing is that you do what works for you and your lifestyle. breast is best, but formula isn't far behind. we're not living 20 years ago when formula wasn't as advanced. they're thoroughly researched, have lots of added benefits, and my baby and countless others are proof that they are good, solid alternatives.
Both my nephews drank mostly formula (had a little bit breast milk in the beginning) and mA they're healthy well adjusted kids..From what I've read here over time, sometimes bf-ing just isn't possible for every woman and i think if you at least try and make an attempt....don't feel bad! I know breastmilk has advantages over formula, but I really don't think it will make your genius whlie formula will make the baby....erm opposite of a genius :P
Oh and I forgot to mention fenugreek and blessed thistle are herbs you can get at most healthfood stores or online. My pediatrician recommended I start taking them when my supply went down around the 5 month mark even though I was only bfing. I started taking them and noticed a difference right away (within 3 days)
I BFed for a year, and supplemented a couple bottles/day with formula. I had a lot of supply issues early on, but I'm not sure if they were mostly in my head. My milk didn't come in till day 5. That's also the day I had a nervous breakdown. BFing guilt and stress is so terrible, and it just makes BFing more difficult!
What makes you say your supply is dwindling? Don't go by the amount of milk you pump. The pumps aren't very effective for a lot of women (including me). The more you nurse, the more milk you will make.
Here's what worked for me:
-drinking lots of fluids
-eating several small meals/day -- nursing made me way more hungry than pregnancy did!
-eating oatmeal 1-2 times a day
-adding fenugreek/methi to various foods, whenever possible (helps with supply)
-drinking mother's milk tea
-getting sleep whenever I could manage
-saunf is supposed to help with letdown
Thanks for your advice and words of encouragement everyone, really helped loads.
I went to breast feeding support group on Monday (my mil thought this was a joke, oh well) and that helped too, listening to other women's experiences and their struggles and how they got through it. Boosted my confidence a bit.
For now I've got myself an Ameda lactaline double breast pump, hoping to start using this soon. Also, I've included oatmeal in my diet, increased my water intake, started taking fenugreek capsules and I'll try including saunf in my diet too.
I've started offering her the breast b4 giving her formula but tbh when she's really hungry she just doesn't want to know and much prefers the bottle, I guess it's just easier for her and also, I prob don't have much milk ATM.
I'm inshAllah going to try my best but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I just hate how desi's can make you feel like less of a woman if you don't breastfeed.
But thanks again guys for all you responses, really helped. I'll prob be posting lots of questions from now on...I'm so lost, didn't know motherhood would be this challenging. Silly silly me!
^ It's funny cuz it was the desis around me that insisted that there was no way I was capable of exclusively BFing. Isn't that weird? But yeah, they insisted I try for 6 months, but there was no insistence that that be all I do. In fact, my mother just didn't think it was possible.
As a baby in the 1950s America, it was not the fashion here to breastfeed, so I wasn't, nor was my brother, nor a lot of kids at that time. It was considered backward. That is in fact why they have had to have whole campaigns to get women to breastfeed. But your baby did get the first colostrum, and she''ll be fine. Don't worry. She'll be arguing with you heartily at 80 years old, insha'allah.
Oh SAhar, I've been hearing the same but with me it comes more in the form of taunts "oh u won't be able to breastfeed, it's too much hardwork" etc etc followed by how these women breastfed for years etc.
trust me with two c-sections, and on top of it including parents/doctors everyone telling a new mother to breastfeed, I had no choice but to feel GUILTY
I was made out to feel so bad with the first one because I gave up after a month, she wouldn't latch on, so I would pump, but it got so bad that I would see blood in the bottle from my engorged nipples, thats when I decided that this is not gonna happen, so then with my second one I had made a promise to myself that I would give it my all this time and not give up, even though I knew i was going to get another c-section, but again it didn't work out, she lost 2 pounds in 2 days because I wasn't producing any milk, anyways so the doctor told me to put her on the formula, btw I was a formula fed baby too, my mom went back to work right after having me, and I have been alhamdulliah fine my entire life, never really got sick that much, so don;t be so hard on yourself, just enjoy every moment of this time :)
I've started offering her the breast b4 giving her formula but tbh when she's really hungry she just doesn't want to know and much prefers the bottle, I guess it's just easier for her and also, I prob don't have much milk ATM.
latch her on before she starts crying for food. that is the last sign of hunger. when you see her rooting (turning her head side to side), smacking her lips, and/or chewing on her hands, thats when you latch her on immediately. this way, she'll be calmer and she won't come for milk like she's starving. she'll have more patience then too.
also, ignore the naysayers and negativity. do whatever you need to, to make this happen, since you are determined.
breast milk is best for the baby but that does not mean that formula is inferior or bad. I always wanted to breastfeed my baby but that could not happen due to certain reasons . My daughter has been on formula milk since her birth and Alhamdolillah she is fine , active & healthy.
being a mother is a difficult job infact one of the most toughest and early days are the most difficult so don't be so hard on your self and ignore people's comment you need to be happy & healthy to raise a happy & healthy child.