the environment does teach you that. if you don't agree, then please take a moment to observe your surroundings, you will be shocked how much this culture has an affect. anyways, im not generlizing, just my overall observation.
i suppose you are talkin about the "be yourself" ideaology. I think it is bad and i think the equally bad one is "what will everyone think or say". be yourself is largely western, social pressure is vastly eastern, i like islamic, be yourself as long as you can be sure that what you want is in accord with what Allah wants. As i read somewhere the difference between our wishes and His is called sorrow.
how do you know any of those are good or bad decisions?
I am very blessed to have very understanding parents mashallah and wanted to share a very important lesson i learnt from them :
most parents do not believe in talking and explaining complicated matters to their kids ... even if they say they are talking , they are actually yelling at the kids to follow their decisions ..
my parents have always sat with me and gone through the positives and negatives of all the decisions i made in my life ... no matter how insignificant the decisions were ...
as a result when the time came for me to choose my life partner , my parents introduced a few families and we would sit and talk it through ..we would disagree on several fronts but eventually reached a middle point where they are happy and so am i ...
I think msot parents do not understand that their child is no longer a child and a grown individual who has his /her own mind ... if parents understand this bit and try to incorporate their kid's mindset in their own values ... a problem will be solved and kids wont rebel anymore.
what's that movie about? hear great reviews from so called critics... kids want to go watch it too... i told them waste of money.
Horton (elephant) tries to save a speck of dust that he believes an entire family is on. On that speck is Whoville, a little town where nothing ever goes wrong. its hard to just describe in a sentence w/o giving the whole movie away, but it's pretty awesome, kids will love it and im sure adults can find alot of good lessons in it.
My parents were smart, so instead of insisting on values they actually encourage us to argue/debate with them If some thing didnt make sense to us.
I know some parents do become over assertive using "values" as their tools. Not good. Not good.
PM, I agree! Its very frustrating for a child to hear mom or dad say "why? Because I SAID so." When they are given the reasoning behind something, it is so much easier for them to understand. This can start from really young age - even something as simple as the child wants more cookies and is told no...I tell them that I said no because cookies are not healthy food. I want you to be big, healthy strong boys so I cant give you too many cookies, its not that I'm being mean, its because I want you to be healthy. Not the best of examples but gets the point across...kids need to hear the "why" and not just be told "because I said so"
if we see the current scenario, we will come to know that media's impact ant that of the outer world has risen alarmingly. now you can't make ur child learn the list of do's and dont's. this outer world's impact is the one parents themselves are providing as they let their child get admitted to the schools where there is a talk and blind following of liberty.
i have served as a teacher and that too to young girls and the same was carried out there, as a result girls nomore followed the teachers and the same went with the parents. this all is a vicious circle. parents have to cautiously handle this situation. no need to be strict, the more friendlier u r the more ur kids will b comfortable with u. get friendly in such a way that they know ur value in life and respect u in many matters. they should be open to u, should come enjoy sitting with u n should everything they feel freely to u.
as far as disobeying ur parents is concerned mostly parents make their child learn the definition of marriage as the one done by the parents and wen their children do not follow so, they r called as disobedients.
i, being a parent would not like to enforce my kid to do what i wish. the whole atmosphere has changed and v need to change as well and should b happy in doing so.