Re: Breaking the cycle of recurring arguments
My husband and I are very happy together , but every now and then we will have an argument (which is natural ) - however, the argument doesn’t get resolved as we either end up shouting at each other and walking off, or we calmly agree to talk about it another time (we never do)… and then something will trigger us a few days later and we will be arguing about the same thing again.
We’re currently arguing AGAIN. I don’t know what to do. How to stop the cycle? I always say to him communication is key, and we should talk to solve our problems… but they don’t seem to get solved. Sometimes I can sense an argument is coming and one of us is about to explode, so I will change the subject - or he will - but then we never talk about the real issue, it just gets swept under the rug.
It’s affecting my health too - I get super stressed as I’m always thinking about could’ve should’ve would’ves, and it’s making me lose weight. Last 6 months I’ve lost loadssss of weight my family and friends are always saying to me ‘tum itni dieting kyun karti ho?’ when I’m actually not! And even when we are happy, as the issue we fight about never gets resolved, I will still be thinking about it when I’m happy, but I tend to try and ignore it because I want to savour the happiness we have.
We have been married just over a year now and it’s been quite bad - we seem to fight about EVERYTHING. We even separated for a while because the fighting was just mental. I don’t know what to do. How do I solve this? I am trying to change myself, and be more patient. I’ve learnt A LOT since we separated - we even had counselling. I’m trying to avoid argumentative topics, but sometimes things NEED to be discussed - don’t they? His problem is he NEVER wants to talk about anything, and I guess my problem is I push him to talk about things. That’s why I am trying to not push, but sometimes issues need to be addressed. I just don’t know what to do - I want to stop fighting. I feel we have tried every single avenue and I am just really tired in this relationship now. I love him so much - but it’s just so tiring fighting every few days. How can I stop the arguments?
Within 12 months you’ve argued to a point you’ve temporarily separated and reconciled and the rest listed above about excessive weight-loss etc.; how then can you say you’re generally happy about your relationship? Which part exactly makes you feel that and please don’t pass off these types of arguments as natural .