hey guys i need a little bit of help. So my mom and I have been helping my cousin finding rishtaa’s. My mom knows a ton of people so she’s getting rishtaa’s of guys, however some of the guys are rejecting my cousin looking at her picture. Which I feel is an utterly ridiculous way without even meeting up. How do we break the news to my cousin and her parents? My uncle and Aunt. They are going through the rishta process with us, and due to my uncle and aunts medical circumstances they are unable to speak to them theirselves.
This is seriously easier said than done, how can you tell your brother that they solely didn’t find their daughter appealing, its quite heartbreaking. How can we let them know that it is a “no” in their end?? It’s very difficult with girls, as it affects the self esteem of the girls as well as the parents.
May allah make the rishtaa process for all girls very easy. ameen.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
just tell them [parents of the girl] that they [parents of the man] don't seem to be interested. you don't have to give any reason. just tell the facts MINUS the look bit.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
and I thought showing the pic to larka should be first step. You dont even need to get girl's parents involved. In that case your parents wont need to tell anything to anyone.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
How about only telling them (girl's family) about the rishta if they (man's side) are still interested after seeing the picture. If they decline based on the picture itself, no need to them at all.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
and I thought showing the pic to larka should be first step. You dont even need to get girl's parents involved. In that case your parents wont need to tell anything to anyone.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
and I thought showing the pic to larka should be first step. You dont even need to get girl's parents involved. In that case your parents wont need to tell anything to anyone.
not always, in conservative families, pic showing is midway in the rishta talks unless it's a between the girl, boy and the mediator friend of the girl or the boy. if parents get involved, the pic showing takes place after both families show some interest.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
not always, in conservative families, pic showing is midway in the rishta talks unless it's a between the girl, boy and the mediator friend of the girl or the boy. if parents get involved, the pic showing takes place after both families show some interest.
and thats why you run into problems like this. Its always good to revisit the order.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
some of the guys are rejecting my cousin looking at her picture. Which I feel is an utterly ridiculous way without even meeting up..
This is not ridiculous at all. Why would they meet up and waste everyone's time if the guy did not find the girl attractive at all?
As others already mentioned, you and your mother do not need to tell your cousin's parents about a specific guy UNTIL the guy's family has seen her picture and has agreed to a meet-up. That was the first mistake. Since that mistake has been made already.....at this point simply tell your cousin's parents that the guy's family is not interested. That's it. No need to list specific reasons. If the parents/cousin do ask "why"...you can simply say that the guy's family did not give you a specific reason so you don't know but perhaps they found someone else or whatever. By being a little creative, you can easily avoid making any comments about your cousin's appearance.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
How about only telling them (girl's family) about the rishta if they (man's side) are still interested after seeing the picture. If they decline based on the picture itself, no need to them at all.
Isn't it wrong to show the girl's picture to some random guy/family without the consent of the girl and her family?? We usually send it through email or text. So it would sit in their email/text without them deleting it.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
Isn't it wrong to show the girl's picture to some random guy/family without the consent of the girl and her family?? We usually send it through email or text. So it would sit in their email/text without them deleting it.
If they're looking at it for the purpose of marriage, then they're not exactly random. You can ask them to delete it whether or not you tell the girl's family about them.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
Isn't it wrong to show the girl's picture to some random guy/family without the consent of the girl and her family?? We usually send it through email or text. So it would sit in their email/text without them deleting it.
it wont be a "random" guy. There always will be credible connection else whats the point approaching for rishta anyway when you cant trust with pic
Think its best if the boys fAmily reject further contact then just simply tell your family they said no, no reasons provided
Dont shoot me but- do you think maybe your cousin lacks something in that particular pic? Maybe abit of a nice hairstyle or some makeup, i am a firm believer that everyone is beaut in their own way but sometimes u do have to make an effort
Ps i am in no way implying tht your cousin is not attractive
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
You see thats what the issue I have with arranged marriage. Your mama shows you the picture and if you find the girl attractive, you say yes and proceed to talk and if not then decline. There is nothing wrong with that and I am pretty sure I would do the same in an arranged setting. But from my experience and meeting people in real, I have found average to even 'ugly' girls attractive ~ i mean to say is if someone have just showed me their picture and ask me if I want to marry her, I would be like hell no but in real life, I found that person quite attractive. Picture thing is a wrong way to find rishta but then again no one has a lot of time to meet each and everyone of them
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
Everything's already been said. No need to go into specifics with each and every guy.
And you should also see if the girl can get her pictures taken by a professional. They know how to highlight the best features and hide the worst. Some people are naturally unphotogenic and a bad photograph shouldn't get in the way of good rishtas.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta’s to Loved Ones??
Exactly.There are guys who look ugly in pics but when you see them in real they look so handsome & on the other hand if you see some guys they look good in pics but unattractive in real. It’s just some people don’t look good in pics & some do.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
Can you tell her instead that you will mention it to a few people and if there seems to be a good one to pursue, you will let them know? Instead of telling her each time you show her picture to someone.
Re: Breaking News of Rejected Rishta's to Loved Ones??
first of all, i dont understand why we raise our girls in the manner that their self esteems are associated with how they look or how beautiful or pretty others find them. i find this mentality very irritating.
your self esteem shouldnt get affected if someone don't find your looks attractive enough. everyone's criteria of beauty is different and if someone rejects you because you don't fall under their critera of beauty, then why there is a need to take it to the heart?. There will be people who don't find you attractive and then there will be people who do. No reason to have a low self esteem because of that.