I have a question. There was a guy and we both liked each and wanted to get married. But his family didn’t agree. We called it off. But after 2 years, one of his family members called me and they wanted me to contact him and if he agrees, they are ready for the marriage now since he isn’t still able to forget me, etc. I did email him few times but there was no reply. Just to keep myself strong and refrain from sending him any more emails, I promised Allah that I would not email him again.
4 months have passed by now and my family is looking for prospects for me. So I thought I would give it one last try and email him and who knows he may respond back and it would be better if we both get married to each other. But if I do email him, then it would be like breaking a promise made to Allah? Is there any solution for it? Pls help.
You already apologized to him when there was no need to. I know the title of girlfriend is not recognized in Islam. But for the sake of argument, he didn't even give you the title of girlfriend and he still expects that you should never consider any other guy....that you should remain single. You don't think that's selfish?
He could have responded to your email and told you, "There's no need for you to apologize to me because we had mutually decided to remain just friends and so you had every right to consider other guys for marriage. But I realize that I have feelings for you and would like to marry you if you are willing."
If he truly cared about you, he would respond like that. If he truly cared about you, he would realize your value/worth before hand....not after he "lost" you to another guy. He's got an ego. And it seems like he's getting an ego boost from watching you chase after him now. But you should not be the one chasing him down and trying yo convince him. The more respectful thing is for him to pursue you for marriage. If he truly loves you and believes you are the one for him, he would act like a gentleman and come after you......he wouldn't be trying to make you feel bad when you didn't do anything wrong in the first place......and then to ignore your email on top of that. Forget acting like a good boyfriend....is he even acting like a good friend right now? You already felt hurt that he did not respond to your email......and you will likely feel even more hurt if he ignores your second email.
Maybe I'm over-thinking.....but what if he does respond to your email and resumes a friendship ....but doesn't send a rishta? The longer you stay in touch with him, the more emotionally attached you will become to him. This will make it harder for you to consider other rishtay. If he continues a friendship but doesn't send a rishta.....you will be left hanging.....and then if he one day (perhaps out of a petty revenge) announces that he has found another girl.......where does that place you?
When he was friends with you.....he must have known in the back of his mind that you are of a marriageable age and that your parents are searching for you. If he cared enough, he would have been scared of the thought of losing you to someone else.....and would have claimed you. And NOW when you are telling him that you want him....he STILL is doing nothing about it? What do you call this behavior? Is he getting pleasure out if seeing you beg for him? A guy who truly loves a girl.....gives her izzat/respect....by not acting in a way that would reduce her to this stage.
It is possible guy did not open his e-mails. may be some other reliable way to communicate the message should be adopted. love is a natural phenomenon. Qurani nazool ka maqsad duniya ko jannat ka namoona banaana hai magar karna yeh sab kuchh insaanu8 hi ne hai.
How about finding another rishta ? This one seems to be a bit slow ... Imagine living with someone like that for the rest of your life?
this sounds reasonable. search for another one.
ye qismat main hota tu mil jata. itni mushkil na aati shayed
redvelvet. you are right. broken1 don't go apologizing again and again. just talk straight if you are so eager. things clear up when you talk face to face .
