I’m friends with a girl for the past 6 years. She complains all the time, gets angry over everything, expects too much from me…and when she yells at me and I say something back to her…then she says that i’m stressing her out and giving her tension. She doesn’t like it when I tell her that I behave the same with everyone…but she pe doesn’t like it that I’m comparing her to others. Everyone knows me as a friendly, patient person but this friend of mine always has problems with me. I don’t talk to my other friends everyday because no one has time and everyone is busy with their life but this friend wants me to talk to her everyday for half hour to an hour. I talk to her to make her happy but she still complains and makes me very upset. I don’t know what to do with her…Should I end my friendship with her?
Re: Breaking a friendship
^Yup.
Life's too short to put up with crappy freinds.
Re: Breaking a friendship
yea no point in being friends with her if you're just doing it so she's happy.........a good friendship works both ways
Re: Breaking a friendship
you should remind her that you both are friend and not more than that.
Re: Breaking a friendship
I'm friends with a girl for the past 6 years. She complains all the time, gets angry over everything, expects too much from me...and when she yells at me and I say something back to her...then she says that i'm stressing her out and giving her tension. She doesn't like it when I tell her that I behave the same with everyone...but she pe doesn't like it that I'm comparing her to others. Everyone knows me as a friendly, patient person but this friend of mine always has problems with me. I don't talk to my other friends everyday because no one has time and everyone is busy with their life but this friend wants me to talk to her everyday for half hour to an hour. I talk to her to make her happy but she still complains and makes me very upset. I don't know what to do with her...Should I end my friendship with her?
What is the reason why you are still friend with her?
What do 'you' think what you should do?
Re: Breaking a friendship
Thanks everyone for the advice. I can't even talk to her about anything personal b/c she gets angry easily and doesn't listen to me...she says that she and her family are always right and others are wrong...I don't know what to do with her...She said I'm her only friend that's why all this time i felt bad and i didn't want to break the friendship...I know Allah(SWT) will be angry with me for this...But i have no choice...I tried to deal with her all these years...But she's not willing to change herself and is always complaining, getting angry,yelling at me...I have other friends who never complain, get angry, yell or have any problems with me...I'm known as a friendly person but she always says I'm stressing her out...I don't even know what i do that stresses her out :(
Re: Breaking a friendship
sounds
Seems like a wife to me…divorce her ASAP…oh i mean f her hard and move on..
P.S imagine what every married man goes through 
Re: Breaking a friendship
If you've already tried talking to her about her behavior several times......and she is not even open to listening to you...and she feels she can never be wrong...then end the friendship.
I had a former friend who has several positive qualities....but she would jump to false conclusions about me. For example, I'd tell her that I couldn't make it cuz I was really sick (which was true)...and instead of believing me or hoping that I'd get well....she hang up the phone and accuse me of lying about being sick and would say that I had an agenda or something. It wasn't the first time she had behaved this way...and when I tried talking to her....she wouldn't listen....she wouldn't let you get a word in...she wouldn't apologize...she couldn't be wrong. Around about the 3rd time she made a false accusation about me.....I ditched her. I didn't call her back to clarify her misunderstandings because I knew it would be of no use. I never called her...or emailed her. And after I dropped her, I realized how much more peaceful my life was. I don't miss her. It can be liberating. And with chitty relatives....who frequently behave in offensive ways....I just maintain a distance from them....avoid them when I can.....and I think it's easier that way. Sometimes you do have to end things....and it's not always the worst thing. It can even be good for you.
Re: Breaking a friendship
she will moan for a while but she will get the hint that u are busy.
Re: Breaking a friendship
Redvelvet: I totally understand how you went through with that friend...I have tried many times to talk to her...I told her not to high expectations from me.... I told her I don't talk to any of my other friends...she says not to compare her to them...she always says i have excuses not to talk to her...Honestly..i'm not a social person...I talk to my other friends after 2-3 weeks for like 10 mins...but her even though i talk to her for half hour to an hour...she's still not happy...I have tried my best to be a good friend with her...but she always has problems with me...I don't know what to do with her then...I told her its not good to complain all the time, have high expectations, get angry over anything in any relationship especially when she gets married....these can create a lot of problems in her life...I fear Allah(SWT) a lot...I tried my best to be a good friend but she's not willing to change herself
Re: Breaking a friendship
^So end the friendship. Look, she's not a relative. It's not some farz that you should be friends with her.
The basic foundation for ANY relationship is respect......and if she can't respect you...and it seems like she doesn't want to.....then you DO NOT have a friendship. Instead you have some one-sided relationship. Either end it or maintain a distance from her. Have some respect for yourself. Treating others wrong is bad ....but allowing yourself to be treated like chit time and time again....when you know that you can get yourself out....is also wrong.
Re: Breaking a friendship
Redvelvet: You are right if she doesn't respect me...and still says she cares about me and loves me then what's the point of this friendship...I can't deal with her anymore.... I'm gonna maintain a distance from her...I lied to her that i have classes from 8-2, then work from 3-8 so she doesn't fight with me... for not giving her anytime...So i had to lie to her only...all of my other friends know that i don't work or have classes at that time...but to her I had to lie b/c she's just driving me crazy...You are right i shouldn't let her treat me this way i should have taken action a long time ago..NOW i'm gonna just distance myself from her...Thanks a lot for all the advice...Really appreciate it...I thought i was committing a sin by ending my friendship with her...but you're right if she doesn't respect me then y should i be friends with her
Re: Breaking a friendship
She sounds very obsessed with you, Its scary! I'm not surprised she doesnt have any friends!
I think it would be best to ignore her, i'm sure she'll soon get the message.
Re: Breaking a friendship
Nausheen86: I'm gonna have to stop talking to her b/c she is driving me crazy...It is very scary that she's sooo possessive about me...I'm not possessive about any of my friends...everyone has their own life...I'm no one to control anyone's life...But she doesn't want to listen to my advices so I'm gonna just talking to her now..thanks for the advice
Redvelvet: Yes I do feel very relieved not talking to her...b/c she makes me feel like I'm doing things to make her upset even though I'm known by others as a patient,calm person...She always says I'm wrong, She always has problems with me...When she's yelling at me...I stay quit so I don't say anything to her in anger...Even then she says i'm ignoring her by not saying anything...She tells me to say whatever is in my heart...Even though I don't say things when I'm angry b/c that worsens the situation
Re: Breaking a friendship
Redvelvet: Yes I do feel very relieved not talking to her...b/c she makes me feel like I'm doing things to make her upset even though I'm known by others as a patient,calm person...She always says I'm wrong, She always has problems with me...When she's yelling at me...I stay quit so I don't say anything to her in anger...Even then she says i'm ignoring her by not saying anything...She tells me to say whatever is in my heart...Even though I don't say things when I'm angry b/c that worsens the situation
Sobia, is main itna sochnay wali kya baat hai? She's not a rishtaydaar of yours. It's not like she raised you...she doesn't pay your bills....she didn't make any sacrifices for you....she didn't do any ehsaan on you.....you don't owe her anything.
You're not going to like me saying this.....but here goes: You can go on and on about how wonderfully patient you are.....but it seems to me that you may have a self-confidence problem. You were with this girl for 6 frickin years....and that's a long time to put up with crap from a "friend." And this girl has shown no improvement. You should have ditched her a long time ago.
You said that she "always" does this ....and she "always does that". She NEVER wants to hear your side of the story...you will NEVER be right....and she will ALWAYS be right. She's a verbally/emotionally/and psychologically ABUSIVE person. When you discuss your concerns with her....she makes it seem like YOU are the one who has problems and are being over-sensitive....in other words she's an invalidator. You can't win with her. She likes to control you an suffocate you.
You said you have found "relief" by not talking to her......so then don't talk to her....just end it. Or maintain a distance and she'll get the idea that she's being ignored and she'll find some other friend to abuse. Are you seeking permission to ditch her? End it.
Re: Breaking a friendship
Sobia, is main itna sochnay wali kya baat hai? She's not a rishtaydaar of yours. It's not like she raised you...she doesn't pay your bills....she didn't make any sacrifices for you....she didn't do any ehsaan on you.....you don't owe her anything. You're not going to like me saying this.....but here goes: You can go on and on about how wonderfully patient you are.....but it seems to me that you may have a self-confidence problem. You were with this girl for 6 frickin years....and that's a long time to put up with crap from a "friend." And this girl has shown no improvement. You should have ditched her a long time ago. You said that she "always" does this ....and she "always does that". She NEVER wants to hear your side of the story...you will NEVER be right....and she will ALWAYS be right. She's a verbally/emotionally/and psychologically ABUSIVE person. When you discuss your concerns with her....she makes it seem like YOU are the one who has problems and are being over-sensitive....in other words she's an invalidator. You can't win with her. She likes to control you an suffocate you. You said you have found "relief" by not talking to her......so then don't talk to her....just end it. Or maintain a distance and she'll get the idea that she's being ignored and she'll find some other friend to abuse. Are you seeking permission to ditch her? End it.
You are 100% right…Its not about have a self-confidence problem…Redvelvet if my other friends also said the things which she says to me then I would have changed myself…But none of my other friends had any problems with me…You are totally right I put up with her for too long….And now I’m gonna maintain a distance from her…I wasn’t seeking permission to ditch her…I just wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing…Thanks a lot for all the advice...It really helped me in this situation ☺
Re: Breaking a friendship
I'm friends with a girl for the past 6 years. She complains all the time, gets angry over everything, expects too much from me...and when she yells at me and I say something back to her...then she says that i'm stressing her out and giving her tension. She doesn't like it when I tell her that I behave the same with everyone...but she pe doesn't like it that I'm comparing her to others. Everyone knows me as a friendly, patient person but this friend of mine always has problems with me. I don't talk to my other friends everyday because no one has time and everyone is busy with their life but this friend wants me to talk to her everyday for half hour to an hour. I talk to her to make her happy but she still complains and makes me very upset. I don't know what to do with her...Should I end my friendship with her?
dont break your friendship but dont let it go on just like that either (coz it will cause more srtess to you) minimize your contact with her and if she asks tell her politely but openly that you are not happy with her behaviour at all and if she continues to act like this then the friendship will end. this should make her realise that you are a valuable friend to her and she must not lose you. dont think about what will she think when you are gonna say her all this the thing is that its your duty to show her the right path which can be bad for her in future.
Re: Breaking a friendship
dont break your friendship but dont let it go on just like that either (coz it will cause more srtess to you) minimize your contact with her and if she asks tell her politely but openly that you are not happy with her behaviour at all and if she continues to act like this then the friendship will end. this should make her realise that you are a valuable friend to her and she must not lose you. dont think about what will she think when you are gonna say her all this the thing is that its your duty to show her the right path which can be bad for her in future.
You are right...I'm worried about her future...She's gonna get married in 2-3 years and she's gonna have a lot of problems if she behaves this way with her husband...NO man likes to be treated this way...I'm gonna minimize contact with her for now... I did tell her a lot of times not to have high expectations from me or anyone in this world b/c if the expectations aren't fulfilled then your hurt and disappointed...But she doesn't understand this...I will try my best to show her the right path whenever i speak with her...Thanks for the advice
Re: Breaking a friendship
Are you a guy or a girl?
Re: Breaking a friendship
Are you a guy or a girl?
It's not always clear with nicks....but I think she's a girl. Sobia is a girl's name.