These jokes are written my Cancer Patients themselves…in no way am I making FUN of those with cancer but I am merely paying tribute to those who can smile through their pain 
Flying to Survive Cancer
On board a flight to Hawaii, the pilot announced, “That thump you heard was our last engine conking out. I’m really sorry to tell you this, but we are going to crash into the ocean.”
In the stunned silence that followed, an angry voice spoke out. “Dammit! That stupid doctor of mine! He said I was going to die of cancer.”
“He lied!”
**Hormone Side Effects **
[This was sent by a cancer patient and shows how a spouse with humor can lighten the stress of diagnosis and treatment. ]
In 1996, at age 47, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. The urologist to whom I was referred by my new doctor recommended several months of Lupron followed by a radical prostatectomy, which I knew (from searching the internet) was the correct protocol at the time. In conference with my wife and I, however, the urologist warned that several months of Lupron to shrink the tumor might result in side effects, including hot flashes. He mentioned that, in rare cases, breast growth sometimes results.
On hearing that estrogen would take over as testosterone faded from my system, my wife’s first question to the doctor was, “Will he finally enjoy shopping with me at the mall?”
**Eat Right, Fight Cancer **
[If you have cancer despite a life-time of low fat, high fiber, and oat bran muffins hard as bullets, you may be convinced a sadistic nutritionist made up the rules for “eating right.” You’ve eaten all the stuff you don’t really like and you’ve ended up sick. On the other hand, you’re afraid to eat the “wrong” diet. What even worse disaster may befall you then? Better to just keep biting the bullet, swallowing your pills and laughing.]
It has been reported that the breast cancer rate would be cut in half if women would eat a low-fat diet. Now, if a woman has already lost half her breasts, can she go back to square one and eat a high-fat diet?
Alternate Version
When on chemotherapy, the doctor tells you to eat even when you don’t feel like it. Then he hands you a pile of prescriptions. Who can eat when full of pills?
Alternate Version
Wheat grass juice is one answer to keeping cancer at bay. It must be good. Did you ever hear of a horse having cancer?
Alternate Version
If you can’t stand the taste of wheat grass juice, then mix it with carrot juice. It’s better. Ask any rabbit.
Alternate Version
The macrobiotic diet has got many converts. They get together regularly and impress new cancer patients with their success. To be fair, the macrobiotic diet fans should include the cancer victims – but then, where would they hold the gatherings?
The End