BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me…
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what’s your phone number??
GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don’t you ever want to improve??
MARY: John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.
Teacher: “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Pupil: “The moon”.
Teacher: “Why?”
Pupil: “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.
Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Pupil: “A teacher”.
Waiter: “Would you like your coffee black?”
Customer: “What other colors do you have?”
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Teacher: “Sam, you talk a lot!”
Sam: “It’s a family tradition”.
Teacher: “What do you mean?”
Sam: “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher”.
Teacher: “What about your mother?”
Sam: “She’s a woman”.
Teacher: “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”
Student: “Brotherly love”.
Patient: “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”
Doctor: “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. You are the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.
Teacher: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
Student: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”