Bollywood Humour!

Pyaar Tune Kya Kiya
In the song ‘Mujhko Khuda Ne’, Fardeen & Sonali do not pay for their balloons and ice-creams

Har Dil Jo Pyaar Karega
In the climax, Rani Mukherjee has green nail polish. Cut to the next scene where she meets Preity Zinta in a temple and her nail polish has changed to silver

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Aishwarya Rai is shot in the neck by a foreigner. Yet, at the hospital she’s seen with a bandage around her arm. There’s no trace of any wound on her neck.

Baadshah
Shah Rukh Khan enters the club with a two-day old stubble. But in the next sequence, he’s clean shaven.

Taal
When she’s humiliated by Akshaye Khanna and Amrish Puri, Aishwarya Rai is wearing earrings. But when she comes out of Akshaye’s house, the earrings are missing, only to reappear in the next frame. I guess she was in too much of a ‘Ghai’ to bother about such trivia.

Aarzoo
When Madhuri Dixit takes SaifAli Khan to meet Akshay Kumar at a restaurant, her hair is permed. She enters the restaurant and the hairstyle changes to a step-cut. When she steps out, it’s permed once again.

Mann
During the song, Nasha ye pyaar ka nasha,Manisha Koirala’s hair is gelled. But when Aamir Khan pulls her hair free it starts flying.

Sirf Tum
Priya Gill gets wet in the rain. So she enters a girls’ hostel to change her clothes. But after draping on a dry sari, she goes out in the rain again.

Biwi No.1
During the karva chauth scene, Salman Khan drives off to meet Sushmita Sen at Bandra. Then the dog leads Karisma Kapoor from Juhu to Bandra on foot. They cover the distance in a few seconds.

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Ajay Devgan and Aishwarya Rai have been robbed of all their belongings. They don’t have money to even buy train tickets. Yet they manage to get seats at the opera.

Famous dialogues....VERY FUNNNNNNY INDEED!

HEROINE

The heroine is the stupidest of all Hindi film characters. She normally settles for a man with no class, and even lesser money. She is usually a lot younger and seriously better looking than the hero, even when the hero is the kind whose insipid persona leaves nothing but the looks to matter. Her father is either ridiculously rich or pathetically poor. Any heroine who starts the film in short skirts ends it in sarees. One who doesn't is the vamp.

Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do
Hato. Tum bade woh ho
Naheen!
Mein tumhare bagair nahin reh sakti
Maa ne tumhe ghar bulaya hai
Main usse pyar karti hoon
Humne pyar kiya hai koi gunah nahin
Kuchh goonde mere pichhe pade hai
Baar baar mera pichha kyon karte ho
Koi Dekh Lega
Maine tumhe kya samjha, aur tum kya nikley!

HERO'S SISTER

The hero's sister invariably has her modesty outraged. She seldom lasts beyond a few scenes and in rarest cases lives to see the end of the film. If there is ever a poignant scene highlighting the brother-sister relationship, it is a clear indicator of the sister's soon to follow death.

Mein tumhare bachhe ki maa ban ne wali hoon
Mere bhaiya ko lambi umar dena, bhagwan
Mere bhai pe koi aanch na aye
Khabardar jo mujhe chhua bhi, main apni jaan dey doongi
Bhaiyya, tum mere liye ek pyaari si bhabhi kab laaonge
Main kissi ko muh dikhane layak nahi rahi
Bhagwaan ke liye, meri suhaag mat ujaado
Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do

MOTHER-IN-LAW

The most nasal voice in the cast belongs to the mother-in-law. She has usually got a dead husband, or one who gives 'henpecked' new dimensions. She specialises in kicking the heroine / hero's sister / bhabhi while she is sweeping the floor. She seldom dies, but always gets her come-uppance in the end when her husband, after years of ayurveda and yoga regains his lost vitality, insults her in public and forces her into submission.

Chudeil! Kide pade tere .....
Tere baap ke bheje huey iss sari ka too kya karegi. Chal, mujhe dey
Ey Chudail, ab kaha se mooh kala karke aayee hain?
Aah Haa Haa, Maharani, waha baithey baithey kya kar rahi hain
Arri Kalmoohi, Kaha mar gayi
Eh Kulta, tere baap ne ab tak dahej ki rakam nahin chukayi

DOCTORS

Doctors in Hindi films are of two kinds, the first is the family/ neighbourhood/ fairy-tale doctor who arrives in slums on rainy midnights to announce high fever and death, and the second is the 'expensive-beyond-lawful-means' doctor who delivers babies, cures near-death cases and drives all his billpayers to crime.

Mujh par bharosa rakhiye
I am sorry
Iska to bahot khoon bahey chooka hai. Phoren operation karna padega.
Bhagwan ne chaha to sab thik hoga.
Badhai ho, tum baap bannay waalay ho
Iski haalat bahot najook hai
Tumhe sakt aaram ki jaroorat hai
Jaldi se woh dawayee lao.
Ab sabh kuch oopar waley ke haath mein hain
Ab main kuch bhi nahin kar sakta.
Bacche ko to hum ney bacha liya par maa...

THE LAW

Contrary to popular belief, there is in fact a concept of law and order in Hindi films. Upholders of the law in Hindi films are of two kinds, the police and the judiciary, quite as it is in real life. The police pick up thugs and the judges let them off

Order..Order..
Kanoon Ko apney haath mein mat lo
Kanoon jazbaat nahi, saboot dekhti hai
Kanoon ko saboot chahiye
Tazeerat-e-hind , dafa 302 ke tahat, mulzim ko maut ki saza sunai jaati hai
Mulzim ko Baa izzat bari kiya jata hai
Milord..

i don’t think this has ever been said in a desi movie! :hehe:

I think he meant to say “chorr” instead of “chhod”