Do any of your MIL’s boast about how great she and her family are? They make it seem like they are the best things since sliced bread and everyone else is garbage. It’s really irritating. I just sit there and smile but I don’t understand how someone can have such little humility.
Also, what do you do when you have a moody MIL? One day she will be fine with you and the next day she won’t talk to you. Usually it’s b/c she complains about me to my hubby (who tells her she should talk to me directly but she doesn’t). It’s like really small stupid stuff but she still complains about me to him.
Do any of your MIL's boast about how great she and her family are? They make it seem like they are the best things since sliced bread and everyone else is garbage. It's really irritating. I just sit there and smile but I don't understand how someone can have such little humility.
Also, what do you do when you have a moody MIL? One day she will be fine with you and the next day she won't talk to you. Usually it's b/c she complains about me to my hubby (who tells her she should talk to me directly but she doesn't). It's like really small stupid stuff but she still complains about me to him.
Sometimes such boasting can actually be a sign of insecurity where the person feels the need to show off and brings others down........in order to raise themselves up. Deep down they may not feel so great about themselves, but want to project a better image. On the other hand, it's also possible that the person is not insecure, and is just plain arrogant. Either way, try not to let it get to you. Why do her words bother you so much? Do YOU feel that she is better than you? Do YOU feel that her family is better than you? If you are truly satisfied with yourself/your family/your life.....................then why get upset over her less than humble comments? You can't change or control her. But you can change your attitude toward her behavior. Let her say whatever she wants, don't stress out over her (life is too short). Just sit back, stay calm, and silently enjoy the humor/entertainment in her khushfahmiyan.
Okay, so here is what you do. Your husband has told his Mommy that he prefers that she discuss issues with YOU instead of complaining to him. You're lucky to have a husband whose open minded. NOW.......use your husband's advice to your advantage. Go to your MIL and nicely tell her "You're older than me and I respect you. If I've made any mistakes, I apologize. If you have any issues with me, please come and talk to me about them. My husband also prefers that WE BOTH (you and MIL) have direct communication because that way there are fewer misunderstandings. I'm sure that if I had any concerns about you, you'd prefer that I feel comfortable enough to discuss them directly with you as opposed to going to a second party. And you're like my mom, I want you to feel comfortable talking to me. "(Maybe if your husband is there with you when you have this discussion with MIL, it would be better as it would solidify this idea.
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^ **Once you gently remind MIL that her OWN SON prefers that you two women sort out conflicts with each other as opposed to involving him.........it kind of sends a firmer message that her son (who is in the middle of you two women) supports the idea of mature communication (which does not involve gossip, sneakiness, manipulation, and drama). Just in case your MIL desires to create problems between you and your husband..........this reminder/discussion might even encourage her to think twice about her actions.
Do any of your MIL's boast about how great she and her family are? They make it seem like they are the best things since sliced bread and everyone else is garbage. It's really irritating. I just sit there and smile but I don't understand how someone can have such little humility.
I am not sure why we think a MIL has less humility if she is telling/talking about her family.
Maybe, we all need a break, put our moms in our MIL's shoes. They will for sure love telling their DIL's (our bhabis how great is our family).
Also, if a bahu or son or daughter or SIL can be moody, why can't a poor MIL? After all she is a human and has emotions.
MIL can't let go of their sons. The other girl (DIL) has come and taken their darling son away from them.
It's jealousy, insecurity. MIL needs to constantly reassure herself that she still has control over her son!!
The son/husband - generally have a hard time sorting this out. In one hand he loves his mom, and on the other hand he loves his wife. Both in a different way. He cannot let go of either.
I think it's better, if the MIL complains to her son. because if it becomes face to face with MIL & DIL, it could turn nasty.
You are not alone. If you want to conquer something like this, you have to have patience.
Most probably there is something about you she is intimidated by and feels the need to pound it into your head that "she" and "her family" mean something too. I call it the "hum bhi kuch hein" Syndrome. Most of the time, that is the issue, sometimes it can be other things. Once I heard a full speech about how there were sooooooo many beautiful girls that were pounding down their doors. They were so white and fair and gorgeous "lekin baat nahin bani".
THe best way to overcome this is take the first step and be blunt about it. GO upto her and be very concerned..."ammi, mujhse koi ghalti huwi hai kya? aap mujhse naraz to nahin hain? meine kya kiya hai, batayein." Tell her your husband said she is upset with you. This will catch her off guard a little bit and maybe make her either open up or shut up.
Be super nice to her in front of your husband. Always. Never lose it n front of him.
my mother is v moody....... but i have found a secret to solve this...............simply when she is in bad mood give her sum gift she l b happy......... hahahaha sounds funny but she is this kind of women who always wants gifts from her DIL's n their family..........
i think if my MIL had a dauhter then the situation must b different.........
i hve seen the difference bw the MIL's who have daughter and who dont have.........
I completely agree with devilish angel - those MIL who have daughters generally have a different approach while treating their DIL knowing how would their daughter feel if she went through that.
Where as MIL who have no daughters dont consider it the other way..
