Re: black lipstick!
^ I agree. It comes off as a bit too harsh. But then again, it also depends upon your outfit and how you carry yourself.
I would suggest that you try on a color that is traditional but still not typically worn.....and that ALSO comes close to black. For example, as Alvena suggested, a dark plum would work nicely. Especially if it's a matte plum.
Or try a blackberry red...a sorta dark blackish red, if that makes sense.
Mac would be a good place to try. Before deciding to buy the lipstick, why don't you try out several shades at the store. Tell the expert what you're looking for and maybe he/she can suggest a color that meets your needs and will still suit you.