uh,a girl
Re: Bitter Sweet.
Sorry to hear about your loss but as they say... the show must go on.
If you are not ready to meet him because of the issue that you described, then simple tell him the same reason with honesty. Alternatively, you can ask one of your brothers to keep in touch with him and for the time being keep the meetings outside the house.
Normally in these situations people find comfort when they have someone to connect to after a tragedy. That friend can help you to get over your grief which you now have because you kept it for the sake of your family.
Re: Bitter Sweet.
So sorry to hear about how he passed away. It is indeed terrible and brought tears to my eyes. Do what is best :-) maybe the friend needs a form of closure too. Sometimes it is good to connect with people. Who knows, maybe meeting the friend may bring some kind of closure, or a "better" feeling to you . May all go well.
sorry for your loss......I can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose a sibling no matter how little time you had with them. may Allah swt grant you peace and comfort and deliver your brother's soul to jannat on the day of judgement, ameen.
while my heart goes out to you, I do believe that it will be a healing process for you to meet up. It has been 15 years since your loss but from your writings it sounds like you have not allowed yourself to grieve. It sounds like you have kept up appearances for the sake of your family.....so that they do not suffer.....you've kept them distracted for lack of better terminology.
perhaps they have grieved and have dealt with the loss by now and it's time for you to do the same. perhaps this friend that has resurfaced needs to connect with you. perhaps you are his path to healing.
consider this a bitter medicine.....
Sorry to hear about your loss but as they say... the show must go on.
If you are not ready to meet him because of the issue that you described, then simple tell him the same reason with honesty. Alternatively, you can ask one of your brothers to keep in touch with him and for the time being keep the meetings outside the house.
Normally in these situations people find comfort when they have someone to connect to after a tragedy. That friend can help you to get over your grief which you now have because you kept it for the sake of your family.
So I talked to my eldest brother today,and we shared a few tears and what not.BUT... He really wants me to invite this friend over.He lives in Calgary so he will most likely come in the summer,that should give me enough time to muster up the courage and talk to him right?My eldest brothers exact words were " its time to be selfish and for the first time put yourself before us and get closure.Because although we will need forget him.The rest of us have accepted his death.We just don't think you have." My eldest brother is like a real huge teddy bear, tough from the outside but a total softie.He usually does not express much emotions but tonight he was all open.I usually have these emotional talks with my second eldest brother but he is away..I never really thought i was being selfless,but a lot of people have started to point out how I am becoming less of "happy-go lucky" person as time goes on.Which is not necessarily a bad thing,but in my case it is.Since I am like the comedy relief kind of person LOL.Thank you everyone for your sweet dues and advise. All of you are right in your own way.
Moral: I need closure and maybe so does this friend. :)
Re: Bitter Sweet.
^thats good. I honestly believe re-connecting will be good for you in the long run. It doesnt have to be all doom and gloom. It can be a source of happiness (using the term very loosely) aswell whilst talking about and remembering the life of your brother in a bright light. You're in my thoughts