So you find out that it's your friend's kid's birthday. You weren't invited, but you decide to send a gift anyway (to show good faith). The gift is promptly returned because "That's not how it works". Only gifts are accepted if you're invited? Would you feel bad?
Were other mutual friends invited to the kid's birthday party? Sometimes people only invite family members and the very closest of friends to an event. Sometimes the guest list is controlled by other people.
Did you, by any chance, give your friend a guilt trip about being uninvited along with sending the gift? If so, maybe he didn't accept the gift out of guilt and returned it back to kind of even/barabar things out so he feels better about this awkward situation. He could have kept the gift and said, "That's not right yar, you have to visit us and give the gift in person"....and extend an invitation to you in that way.....thereby saving face and infusing grace.
Now that you have the gift, either return it or save it for another occasion. But going forward, be more careful about this friend and lower your expectations of him.
Would I feel bad? I'd definitely feel annoyed. Personally, I'd let em know how that made me feel. And then I'd keep a distance from them for my own peace of mind. But, then again, you're a much nicer person than I am. I don't think I would have sent a birthday gift in the first place, lol.
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No, he didn’t invite anyone, none of our mutual friends. All of our mutual friends are in different cities only me and him are in the same city. I found out about his son’s birthday in the group chat and I wished him a happy birthday and I figured maybe I’ll send him something as in good faith since it’s his son’s birthday. I didn’t really want to go to the party, just like I said I sent it in good faith just as a gesture of good will. Like “Hey, it’s your kid’s birthday, here’s a little something for him”. Didn’t know that I had to follow official procedure of actually being formally invited to a birthday party to actually gift someone. Prophet Muhammad PBUH actually encouraged us to give each other presents. And last I checked he didn’t celebrate birthdays. But I guess to each his own. shrug.
For real? I mean never heard of gifts being returned. What did you do to them before that lol.
Anyhow, its terrible of them. Clearly not a friend. so yea in my German lingo, they can simply eff off. Sorry!
Agree with all that has been said so far.
I will feel bad too. However, before developing bad feelings, I will rule out that the friend is facing some financial uncertainty or is pulling back from other friends as well. Also, sometimes people feel pressured to give back gifts of similar value later so may find easy not to accept gifts in the first place. I faced a situation once in which I got a complaint that I did not give birthday gifts as many times as the person complaining gave to me. After thinking a bit, I brought witness to prove that it was the opposite.
In any case, in bird culture it’s considered a di*k move.
:)
Not invited and still sent a gift, and then gift returned? Nope....no need to carry on.