Re: Biological Needs
Absolutely nothing. It was a general question.
Re: Biological Needs
Hmmm, Wannabe, wow, tell us how you really feel.
Just wanted to say - biological needs are biological needs and have nothing to do with self-control. Self-control is developed and put into play conciously by the individual. Long and short, you can have a normal, healthy, even larger than normal sex drive and have plenty of self-control.
I get a lot of come-on's from married men, too. I always think it is a shame, their poor wife and wish I was bad enough to let that woman know. Imagine being clueless about something like that. Devastating.
Re: Biological Needs
Knowing very well that majority of the people hold back their biological needs due to religious reasons, I don’t think you can take it out of context. I think they should be respected & appreciated instead.
As for why women don’t sleep around as often as men do…would you marry one who has been sleeping around? I don’t think a lot of men are comfortable with that. If women are sacrificing then they should be respected instead.
Re: Biological Needs
Help me understand. Married men reject offers for casual sex from other women, because of
(a) religious reasons
(b) social pressures
(c) commitment to their partner
(d) all of the above
Re: Biological Needs
I asked my husband this, here's how it went--
Me:So, This was posted here, Can you tell me, Married men reject offers for casual sex from other women, because of (a) religious reasons (b) social pressures (c) commitment to their partner (d) all of the above
Husband (answering, without looking at me, picking up the papers he came to pick up and heading out the door): Religious
Husband (after wondering why there was no response from me, turning around, seeing the shock on my face, then realizing the couch is his next home): Well all of the above of course, but mostly religious.
The rest is just cannon fodder for the next day or so.........
My answer was all of the above, geesh
Re: Biological Needs
Dang! I am so sorry.....
Re: Biological Needs
pardon me but i am not trying to be a nitpicker here but i found this argument a bit bizarre.. if u are a person who is restrained only out of deference to your religious scruples but still have lewd thoughts in your mind, what purpose does your restraint serve?? i am not a muslim so i do not know the societal and religious attitudes towards such thoughts but in general i can take the liberty in assuming that if you are interested in maintaining ritual purity for religious reasons, it should happen at the mental level more than the physical. i am not irreligious by any standard but if i cannot delete such thoughts from my mind, i would gladly fulfil myself so that i do not have the feeling later in my mind that i missed an opportunity etc. its like unwanted baggage, drop it off as soon as you can so that you won’t be thinking about it later on. au contraire, if you were to restrain yourself physically but you continue to harbor such thoughts mentally it is worse. imagine if you had such thougts during your friday prayers?? would it be the most appropriate place and time for such thoughts? imho, it would be best to dispose of such feelings asap rather than call yourself a whore and be proud of it.
Re: Biological Needs
PCG, if you do it once everyday, taking out 4 days out of every month for your periods (pls note how nice I am being here), it will take you almost 16 years to reach that figure.
Re: Biological Needs
[QUOTE]
pardon me but i am not trying to be a nitpicker here but i found this argument a bit bizarre.. if u are a person who is restrained only out of deference to your religious scruples but still have lewd thoughts in your mind, what purpose does your restraint serve?? i am not a muslim so i do not know the societal and religious attitudes towards such thoughts but in general i can take the liberty in assuming that if you are interested in maintaining ritual purity for religious reasons, it should happen at the mental level more than the physical.
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This is one of those things that fall under personal belief. For what it is worth, here goes. Allah/God created us, he gave us needs, wants, and desires. He also gave us guidelines on how to handle all of them. How we deal with our wants and desires and whether we follow His guidelines determines our afterlife. We are going to have impure thoughts and desires, it is a part of how we are created. He gave us a few options for sexual desire: prayer and (it states in the bible, anyway) if that no longer works, marriage. Anything between a married couple is a part of marriage and sanctioned ( not sure if this is the right word, maybe more allowable) by God/Allah.
[QUOTE]
i am not irreligious by any standard but if i cannot delete such thoughts from my mind, i would gladly fulfil myself so that i do not have the feeling later in my mind that i missed an opportunity etc. its like unwanted baggage, drop it off as soon as you can so that you won't be thinking about it later on. au contraire, if you were to restrain yourself physically but you continue to harbor such thoughts mentally it is worse. imagine if you had such thougts during your friday prayers?? would it be the most appropriate place and time for such thoughts? imho, it would be best to dispose of such feelings asap rather than call yourself a whore and be proud of it.
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Again, a person is not a whore for having desire or thinking impurely, that is entirely unfair. Your actions determine your person, not your thoughts. Yes, you should try to divert your thinking and maybe seek guidance if it starts to be an obsession, but that is in everything, not just sexual desire. Friday prayers is inappropriate, yes, but it can happen, we strive to become what God/Allah wishes us to be, but we will never be perfect because we are human and that is how we were created. Be humble, confess and atone, and move on.
Re: Biological Needs
minah, i did not make a personal comment on pcg in case u thought so.. it was only a comment on her statement.. i didn't say how she shud be.. i only said what i thought of it and how i wud react to such a situation..
Re: Biological Needs
heading off to my class.. will comment on ur post after some time.. interesting points u have there
Re: Biological Needs
okay… ( 
)
Yeah i dont slap… only kick
Re: Biological Needs
[QUOTE]
This is one of those things that fall under personal belief. For what it is worth, here goes. Allah/God created us, he gave us needs, wants, and desires. He also gave us guidelines on how to handle all of them. How we deal with our wants and desires and whether we follow His guidelines determines our afterlife. We are going to have impure thoughts and desires, it is a part of how we are created. He gave us a few options for sexual desire: prayer and (it states in the bible, anyway) if that no longer works, marriage. Anything between a married couple is a part of marriage and sanctioned ( not sure if this is the right word, maybe more allowable) by God/Allah.
[/QUOTE]
marriage was a solution devised in those times because pre-marital sex was the cause for illegit children in the society and such children were seen as sinful objects in society. besides, contraception was not a viable option and hence for society to be free of such encumberances, people stuck to marriage in case they couldn't control their hormones. but in our times, marriage need not be the only solution. u can get good quality stuff for less than a dollar and have fun with ur gf.. u dont need to shackle yourself in marriage for that.. btw marriage is a serious thingie and u cant use that as a solution for wanton sex..
[QUOTE]
Again, a person is not a whore for having desire or thinking impurely, that is entirely unfair. Your actions determine your person, not your thoughts. Yes, you should try to divert your thinking and maybe seek guidance if it starts to be an obsession, but that is in everything, not just sexual desire. Friday prayers is inappropriate, yes, but it can happen, we strive to become what God/Allah wishes us to be, but we will never be perfect because we are human and that is how we were created. Be humble, confess and atone, and move on.
[/QUOTE]
i didnt call her a whore.. that was a label she put on HERSELF! i only said dont call urself a whore and restrain ur feelings. tats not how u get an identity.
Re: Biological Needs
part of the post was about direct approaches and asking direct questions. i have expereinced that 90% of the time, it is married men who are too direct in approaching single (or married) women so the excuse of “biological needs” is an important factor for men having extra merital affairs.
Re: Biological Needs
desibanda - Personal belief, I said, and as such, my personal beliefs are based mostly on religion, somewhat on personal experience, and a bit on education. So, you believe differently, that's good :) diversity makes life interesting.
I never said marriage was a solution for wanton sex and I know it is a serious committment, believe me. I also understand what you said about our times, but just because it is common for people to have sex on the first date or to have multiple partners or just have it whenever they wish, doesn't make it the right thing to do. Not just religiously, but as I stated earlier, emotionally or physically.
Sorry about the other misunderstanding about calling her a whore, I must have read it wrong. Forgive me.
Re: Biological Needs
How do I feel abt what?
biological needs and self control are directly related. More you have “the need”, more you would require self control. That is… if you believe in staying pure. So you can reduce the “needs” by fasting hence would be easier to control yourself.
One day I decided to phone the lady of the most obsessive man who was after me. I met his 3 kids who were so cute… lovely kids.. I felt bad for them and their mother. He was my boss. I left the job. He wasnt a very good human but was otherwise good to me only. Did not regret leaving that job.
Re: Biological Needs
Verizon, when i said, "shortage of real men", I was joking. I dont know how it can be easier for people to jump into bed with someone without a good mental compatebility. Usually, it is hard for people to get physical. But I understand that many people do not care.
Re: Biological Needs
Newwannabe - Biological need happens whether you want it to happen or not, it is biological. Self-control is a learned and intellectual process.
Basically you need one to control the other, but they are not the same thing, that is what I meant. You were right when you said they are directly related.
BTW - the comment about tell us how you really feel was me teasing you, I should have included a smiley. ;) There, lol :)
Re: Biological Needs
I know what lured you to marry a Greek! apart from everything else, they are nice creatures of Allah.