Re: bhabi issue
She needs to grow up! Maaf kar dena is a good thing esp when an elder has apologized to you so many times. Old people can be set in their ways and like you said in your chachi’s case that she is not a bad person so your bhabhi needs to loosen up a bit.
Even for phupo, its not a big deal! Log is se buhat zyada baate kar lete hai, doesnt mean you stoop to a lower level and not even say your salam dua. Don’t forget people, salam is done for Allah and you are basically fulfilling your human rights. To make a marriage cimfortable, both sides need to make hugy e sacrifices…your bhabi should be doing nothing in comparison if she lets go of her ego and keep salam dua with her husband’s familiy like any sane adult should.
She’s not Pakistani so our etiquettes + the much greater importance we place on keeping extended family and esp elders happy probably isn’t a priority for her..
Sane people tend to stay away from situations which could result in more trouble imo