Re: Beti vs Bahu
Tweety, if you don’t feel strong enough to do all the housework, then you need to tell your mom. That way she or bhabi or someone else can help you out. If you’re experience fatigue or pain from your surgeries or even unpleasant side effects from any medicines you’re taking, then let your family know.
A bahu shouldn’t be seen/treated as someone who will do the housework. I agree with that point which others have also brought up. But at the same time, if your bhabi has been living in your home for a considerable amount of time, then she should pitch in. Even if your mother NEVER asks her to do anything, she should have the ehsaas to help out. If it were me, I would help my mil/sil out. Assimilating into a new environment is a TWO way street. In-laws should of course show the bahu love and make her feel welcome but she TOO should become a part of the family by taking part in the things they do, in the things that need to get done. If I knew that my nand..or mil had surgeries…I would try to be sensitive and mindful of that. There is more than one way to look at this situation from.
Even if a relative moves in with you for a prolonged time, he/she (out of courtesy) should help out. Maybe wash the dishes sometimes. Take out the trash. What have you. I’m not saying that they take over the whole house, but just little things here and there. But when you will be living with in-laws permanentlh or long term and if you’ve been under their roof for more than just a few days or a couple of weeks…and if you know that your sil is not well…then hello…thora sa ehsaas bahu/bhabi ko bhi rakhna chahiye.
And this is assuming that bahu knows about surgeries.
It also raises the question that …if you find it hard to do the chores…then why is your mom making you do them? Either your mom should give u a break or your mom should help you out if she’s going to insist that bhabi must not be disturbed. And if you’re not getting any help, then maybe you need to speak up and let ur mom know that you are not feeling well. People aren’t mind-readers.