I’m not jealous or anything lakin jub se mere bhai ki shaadi hui hai meri ammi mujhe ignore karti hain.
Wo ub bahu ko zyaada aur beti ko tarjeeh deti hain. kya aap kay ghar mein bhi kuch aisi baat hai. Kay aap ki ammi
aap kay saath aisa salook karti hain kay aap se saara ghar ka karwati hain or aap ko nokrani ki tarah treat karain aur bahu ko mahrani ki tarha.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
You should be happy your mum gets on with her bahu. After all you will one day marry and leave but your mum will stay with her baby longer if your brother does not move out. And its your house why shouldn't you do the housework? Its not the bahus job to do your housework. She had no obligation to do your housework.
And if she has just recently gotten married why shouldn't she be treated nicely? She's left her family and home and come to live with new people.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
I always thank Allah because ammi ki is cheez ki wajha se sary kaam seekh gaye..my ammi is so strict regarding house chores...ammi ny pala shahzadiyun ki tarah hay...her cheez kay liye maid..but on the other side she never expect..sit back atitude at home, if maid doesnt come even for a month you have to do all work infact she doesnt even like app kisi k ghar jayen or bus mehman ban kay beith jayen she always expect us to help others chahye dastarkhawan he lagwain but help them anyway...because of her real treatment mein tu Allah ja bhut shukar ada karti hon,,kay app kisi kay bhi muhtaj nahi hoty, app kisi se expect nahi karty kay koi apka kam kary and lastly my mother also expect me to do work even if my bhabies come here, may be because they live abroad they just come as guest. I also love to do my nephews work, But i feel honored that my mother wants me to serve guest at my best. Afterall i am daughter alhamdulilah whoelse mother can expect offcourse us, this is all ebadat, nokrani bhut hee ajeeb sa word hogya, you will be treated like a queen when you get married and visit your parents home inshaAllah!!so serve and feel honored that your mum expects you to do her works.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
Kyun ji? Ghar apka nahin hai kya?
Aur Bhabi ki zimmidari nahin hai ke apkay agay peechay ghoomein.
Jab aap apne ghar kisi ki beti ko lekay ayeen hein to is liye nahin he vo apkay ghar ka kaam karay. Uski zimmidari apnay shauhar ka khayal rakhna hai...apko khush rakhna nahin.
:)
Re: Beti vs Bahu
Are you married, Tweety?
Maybe your mom thinks that bahu is going to live with her ...and aap ki aik din shadi ho jaaye gi and you will leave...is liye ammi wants to make her rishta more mazboot with her bahu. Amooman to larkiyan complain karti hain k un ki saas bahut sakht mizaaj ki hain. MashaAllah se your ammi is very loving towards your bhabi and is k badlay...kya pata aap ko bhi aik achi aur loving saas milay? If you're not married, dia kia karo k achay aur pyar karne walay in-laws (and husband) milay.
You have to understand that somebody who is new to a family needs love to adjust into their new environment. Try not to let this bother you otherwise youmay hurt your relationships. Don't become the troublesome nand that we see in dramas. :p
Also, it's possible that ammi does not realize that she hasn't been spending much time with you. Shayad ammi jaan boojh kar nahi ignore kar rahin aap ko. Is liye pyaar se ammi ko kaho...k Ammi jab se bhabi aayi hain aap mujhay bhool gayin hain, aap mujh se bhi baat kia karain..meray saath bhi time spend karain. She's your mom...she loves you...I don't think she'll mind if you speak to her. Ghussa karne se...ya upset rehnay se ...behtar yeh hai k aami se baay karo.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
Are you married, Tweety?
Maybe your mom thinks that bahu is going to live with her ...and aap ki aik din shadi ho jaaye gi and you will leave...is liye ammi wants to make her rishta more mazboot with her bahu. Amooman to larkiyan complain karti hain k un ki saas bahut sakht mizaaj ki hain. MashaAllah se your ammi is very loving towards your bhabi and is k badlay...kya pata aap ko bhi aik achi aur loving saas milay? If you're not married, dia kia karo k achay aur pyar karne walay in-laws (and husband) milay.
You have to understand that somebody who is new to a family needs love to adjust into their new environment. Try not to let this bother you otherwise youmay hurt your relationships. Don't become the troublesome nand that we see in dramas. :p
Also, it's possible that ammi does not realize that she hasn't been spending much time with you. Shayad ammi jaan boojh kar nahi ignore kar rahin aap ko. Is liye pyaar se ammi ko kaho...k Ammi jab se bhabi aayi hain aap mujhay bhool gayin hain, aap mujh se bhi baat kia karain..meray saath bhi time spend karain. She's your mom...she loves you...I don't think she'll mind if you speak to her. Ghussa karne se...ya upset rehnay se ...behtar yeh hai k aami se apni feelings share karo. Araam/pyar se ask your ammi if bhabi can help with the chores because it gets too much for you.
And if you need help with chores, then araam se ask bhabi to help you with cleaning and cooking. Yeh mat karo k saaray kaam bhabi pe daal do....par aapas main share/divide kar lo....help each other out.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
Did anyone of you hear Nand Gand...?
Re: Beti vs Bahu
I tried my best to be a nice and kind nand but she on the hand ignores me. I help my mom out even when i don't feel well is because i had 3 brain surgeries and 2 back surgeries so it's hard for me to do things around the house. I try my best i'm not the typical kind of nand jo dramon mein dikhaatain hain kay apni bhabhiyon se kaam karwati hain. I'm very sweet and kind and i tried to be my best. I'm NOT THE TROUBLE SOME NAND ok . MAHOOL ZARA BAAT SOCH SAMAJH KAR KIYA KARO.
^ Wow... touched a nerve, eh.
Let ur bhabhi live her life ... if she has recently gotten married, she's prob still adjusting to life with u guys. That's also most likely why ur mom is going out of her way to be kind to ur bhabhi, so that she feels comfortabke at home.
Also.. i kind of agree with Reha - bhabhi is building a life with her husband, not you. Yes, eventually she should help around the house etc cos she's gonna be living there.. but if she's newly married, u really have to cool down and give her space.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
Tweety bird its a normal thing even i have 3 bhabis and my mom always push me or my sisters to look after things instead of imposing things on bhabi. Even though sometimes i feel like iam the bahu coz mom treats like a sasuma :D and i always say k ammi acha train kar rahi hain baad me saas ka kehna normal lagega :D dont worry about it.
The reason is apki bhabi dosrey ghar se ayi hain aur apki ammi ko acha nahi laghta hoga k un se koi kaam karwaye kyunke unka farz nahi hai sab kuch karna. Haan agar woh khud se karein toh bohat achi baat hai and thats what my bhabis do. Meri ammi kabhi bhi unse nahi kehti woh khud agay barh k karti hain aur agar na bhi karein toh not an issue. Even humay khud ajeeb sa laghta hai k bhabi kitchen saaf karein hum khud unse kaam cheen lete hain. Aur kal ko u will get married toh unhey hi sab karna hoga ammi ki help and all. So think positive aysa mat soocho :)
Re: Beti vs Bahu
Your parents are your responsibility and not your bhabis. Their needs and requirements are your work and not your bhabis. Who was working before the marriage? Also vice versa is that you should not be responsible for your bhabi or brother's work. They should be dealing with their own food, cleanliness etc.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
I tried my best to be a nice and kind nand but she on the hand ignores me. I help my mom out even when i don't feel well is because i had 3 brain surgeries and 2 back surgeries so it's hard for me to do things around the house. I try my best i'm not the typical kind of nand jo dramon mein dikhaatain hain kay apni bhabhiyon se kaam karwati hain. I'm very sweet and kind and i tried to be my best. I'm NOT THE TROUBLE SOME NAND ok . MAHOOL ZARA BAAT SOCH SAMAJH KAR KIYA KARO.
Tweety, if you don't feel strong enough to do all the housework, then you need to tell your mom. That way she or bhabi or someone else can help you out. If you're experience fatigue or pain from your surgeries or even unpleasant side effects from any medicines you're taking, then let your family know.
A bahu shouldn't be seen/treated as someone who will do the housework. I agree with that point which others have also brought up. But at the same time, if your bhabi has been living in your home for a considerable amount of time, then she should pitch in. Even if your mother NEVER asks her to do anything, she should have the ehsaas to help out. If it were me, I would help my mil/sil out. Assimilating into a new environment is a TWO way street. In-laws should of course show the bahu love and make her feel welcome but she TOO should become a part of the family by taking part in the things they do, in the things that need to get done. If I knew that my nand..or mil had surgeries...I would try to be sensitive and mindful of that. There is more than one way to look at this situation from.
Even if a relative moves in with you for a prolonged time, he/she (out of courtesy) should help out. Maybe wash the dishes sometimes. Take out the trash. What have you. I'm not saying that they take over the whole house, but just little things here and there. But when you will be living with in-laws permanentlh or long term and if you've been under their roof for more than just a few days or a couple of weeks....and if you know that your sil is not well....then hello...thora sa ehsaas bahu/bhabi ko bhi rakhna chahiye.
And this is assuming that bahu knows about surgeries.
It also raises the question that ...if you find it hard to do the chores....then why is your mom making you do them? Either your mom should give u a break or your mom should help you out if she's going to insist that bhabi must not be disturbed. And if you're not getting any help, then maybe you need to speak up and let ur mom know that you are not feeling well. People aren't mind-readers.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
Maybe mom realises that its your turn to get married soon and she wants you to get used to housework in a "friendly" environment.. but you may not see it that way.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
I tried my best to be a nice and kind nand but she on the hand ignores me. I help my mom out even when i don't feel well is because i had 3 brain surgeries and 2 back surgeries so it's hard for me to do things around the house. I try my best i'm not the typical kind of nand jo dramon mein dikhaatain hain kay apni bhabhiyon se kaam karwati hain. I'm very sweet and kind and i tried to be my best. I'm NOT THE TROUBLE SOME NAND ok . MAHOOL ZARA BAAT SOCH SAMAJH KAR KIYA KARO.
^ Wow... touched a nerve, eh.
No, that was pretty nasty what Mahool said, I can't believe no body caught that and are jumping down the OP's throat.
Not every nand is a dramaybaazi, but jesus, 5 surgeries? Huge diff btwn being new and adjusting and not pulling ur weight.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
I tried my best to be a nice and kind nand but she on the hand ignores me. I help my mom out even when i don't feel well is because i had 3 brain surgeries and 2 back surgeries so it's hard for me to do things around the house. I try my best i'm not the typical kind of nand jo dramon mein dikhaatain hain kay apni bhabhiyon se kaam karwati hain. I'm very sweet and kind and i tried to be my best. I'm NOT THE TROUBLE SOME NAND ok . MAHOOL ZARA BAAT SOCH SAMAJH KAR KIYA KARO.
Nand ko Gand kehty hian... Yeh kafi famous mohavara hai.. mera mqasad appko offend karny ka nahi tha. By any means... it is not a bad word.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
No, that was pretty nasty what Mahool said, I can't believe no body caught that and are jumping down the OP's throat.
Not every nand is a dramaybaazi, but jesus, 5 surgeries? Huge diff btwn being new and adjusting and not pulling ur weight.
I find it hard to believe a mother would burden her daughter, who has had 5 major surgeries, with work vs doing it herself. Leave the nand out of it completely.
But this is the internet... so i guess it could be true and as such my response might have been kinda mean. Sorry OP.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
OP was "complaining" about her mother ignoring her in the first post, I don't know why everyone is making it into a bhabhi vs. nand issue.
OP, have a talk with your mom. If you and your family can't come up with a solution; divide the housework so that bhabhi takes care of everything for herself and her husband, because just like it's not your bhabhis job to do ghar ke kaam, it's not your job to do your bhabhi or brothers kaam either.
Nand ko Gand kehty hian... Yeh kafi famous mohavara hai.. mera mqasad appko offend karny ka nahi tha. By any means... it is not a bad word.
Kissi rishtey ko gand bulana .. is not a bad word? .. Confused logic.
Re: Beti vs Bahu
OP was "complaining" about her mother ignoring her in the first post, I don't know why everyone is making it into a bhabhi vs. nand issue.
OP, have a talk with your mom. If you and your family can't come up with a solution; divide the housework so that bhabhi takes care of everything for herself and her husband, because just like it's not your bhabhis job to do ghar ke kaam, it's not your job to do your bhabhi or brothers kaam either.
Kissi rishtey ko gand bulana .. is not a bad word? .. Confused logic.
Mazak main hi kehtay hian.. kay Nand Gand hai...
Jistarah... Father in law ko Susar kehtay hian.. yeh asal main gali hia... Susra say nikli hia..
Jistarah... Brother in law ko Sala kehtay hia... yeh bhi asl main bad meaning main use hoti hia... Sala kahan mar giya..
Re: Beti vs Bahu
^I'm glad you proved my point; That it is indeed a bad word.