Best age to get married?

[Paheli00]

Re: Best age to get married?

@parisbynight

my mum did indeed do part time jobs but no a regular basis, she was on and off working as we were 4 kids back to back. but i believe in mid life crisis for a women and i do feel at the age of 40 a women should be responsibility free and enjoy her life freely without always being held back by the kids. in all friends gathering my mum has, only she and another aunty are not always in a rush to go home because the kid need to sleep or the kid has school or the kids simply gets bored and start annoying the mother. her friends who married after their late 20s do suffer from all these scenarios.

Are these women single mothers? If not then where are their husbands…ie. the father of these children? The father can’t watch his own children if his wife is out somewhere…even 1-2x/week? I know several families (desi and non-desi) where the husband is more than happy to watch the children if the wife needs to go somewhere. My own BIL spends evenings on his own with his 7 year old daughter if DIL is working late or needs to go on a “girls night out” or whatever. From what you’re describing, it seems that the children needs to be attached to their mother 24/7 until the age of 18.

@parisbynight

if you keep your self respect wherever needed, what is the exact harm of being sometime submissive/compromising for a loved one. we all do it for parents and kids so why not for a partner?

1. A 21/22/23 year old female who most likely is 100% dependent on her husband for financial support, and has never been independent her entire life thanks to having over-protective parents…how much “self-respect” do you think she can really keep when her husband asks her to “compromise” on something? Do you honestly believe most desi women in that situation actually has a choice in not compromising?

2. We don’t get to pick our parents and while living with them, we often don’t have any control/choice in our “compromises”. There is also a major difference in the way we’re related. We can NEVER change who are parents are and no matter what they do, overwhelming majority of us will always be there for our parents. Its not like I can go look for and pick out another mother if I’m not happy with mine. Spouses are a different story. If my spouse is disrespectful, abusive, uncompromising whatever…if I’m not happy with him, I do have the option of divorce and looking for another spouse.