No matter how hard I try not to do this I think I have a habit of trusting people too easily and assuming they won’t do bad to me or that they are ‘good at heart’. Allah ka shukar hae my trust has never been betrayed in anything big, though there have been some small unexpected incidents which I did learn from.
When such things happen, then too I think, okay this doesn’t mean the other person is just EVIL. I seem to have become more accepting of people who do bad deeds, which to me is highly highly alarming. I’m honestly scared about this as this means my own judgement of right and wrong has become messed up.
Like recently I gave my cell phone number to the laborer working at our house because the land line was unavailable and when I was giving it it didn’t even cross my mind [Yes it really did not!] that the person is going to distribute it among his coworkers and I’m going to get prank calls from them! But this did happen and I’ve certainly learnt my lesson from it.
In the beginning I was really angry but as time passed I just thought, OK this is really retarded but maybe they are just a bunch of adolescents doing this for ‘fun’? Its certainly not acceptable but I feel like I shouldn’t judge them too harshly?
But then where DO you draw the line? Is a murderer, a thief, a person who dishonors, what about the serial killer in Lahore who killed all those innocent children…aren’t these BAD people…? aren’t they EVIL?
I can’t even believe I’m asking this, but shouldn’t I be telling myself YES they are BAD EVIL people…?
My reaction used to be ‘Oh my God, s(he) did THIS? They are BAD!’ Now my reaction is, ‘Oh my God, s(he) did THIS? They are BAD! No wait, how can I judge if they are bad or not? How do I know what’s in their heart?’
Why do I find myself looking for excuses to justify their behavior? Should I just not accept that these are BAD.
Why can’t I accept that there are indeed BAD HELL-BOUND * people in this world…? I mean even in the Prophet (saw)'s time there were BAD EVIL people. And Allah swt has mentioned in the Quran that there are bad people. Subhanallah maybe I am one of them, who knows.
Is a movie actress who has a corrupt personal life, corrupt according to the definition of the standards I’ve been raised by, not a BAD person? Then why am I trying to justify her actions thinking OH but maybe she has good intentions maybe she is not a bad person at heart and I can’t judge?
Everything does not go. There ARE good deeds and bad deeds and I should look at those to base my judgements about people. Should I not?
Meeting all sorts of people plus this whole western line of thinking, ‘acceptance’, ‘tolerance’, ‘diversity’, ‘dont judge’ blah blah blah has messed up my thinking I think.
I seem to be justifying everything and everyone in my brain, telling myself, okay maybe that person had a reason, I shouldn’t JUDGE anyone.
Heck!!!
At some point, based on a person’s actions, don’t you HAVE to step back and judge them and say, This person is BAD. I am not going to have anything to do with this person.
I’m sure I have faults which others can look at too and say, Irem does THIS so I’m not going to keep in touch with her. But we all have to judge for ourselves do we not? How else do we protect ourselves?
When someone does something that harms you, shouldn’t you be smart enough to KNOW they MEANT to harm you, if they did, rather than think, OH I am doubting their intention which is bad…?
If someone cheated me, stole from me, isn’t forgiving them beghairti? But then isn’t Islam about forgiving?
Sometimes I even start thinking maybe that something happenned to me was my own fault, maybe the other person’s INTENTION wasnt bad?
Isn’t this messed up?
I wish I could go back to how I used to think at age 16, when I wasn’t exposed to the whole fuzzy philosophy of ‘don’t judge’, ‘don’t doubt someone’s intention’, ’ a person who does action X which is bad is not necessarily a bad person’…
sigh*
… n its even better if u r able to get urself together for the new challenge .. that is how life is… n dont worry about making mistakes… everyone does… sum hav them in open.. n sum hav deep dark secrets .. u r no differnt… dont get offended by trivial things… they r just small things that can make u learn valuable lessons of life … stay happy larki … 
will do inshallah 
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