My daughter is starting Kindergarden this year. Her birthday is in September so she will be the youngest one in her class
During the KG orientation today - the counselor was somewhat warning us that this can impact them for the rest of their lives and to basically “give your child a gift of time” because even if they are ready age wise - they might not be ready mentally and socially.
She also emphasized that being the youngest in the class has it’s challenges which the child would have to endure till high school!
If your child is the youngest in their class, did they have issues? Were you the youngest and felt left out at times. Is being the oldest in your friends better?
From personal experience, I was one of the youngest kids. I was in college when I was 17 but besides the fact that I couldn’t drive till senior year was no big deal to me.
I think the counselor doesnt want to crowd the class! Age should not be a factor in deciding whether a child can function properly in a class, its their maturity and intelligence that matters.
In my own case, my birthday is at the end of August so I was always the youngest in class. I was tested at 16 as having an I.Q of 153. If being the youngest was going to affect me, it would have shown in the test.
My 3 year old daughter was placed in preschool for 4 year olds midway in the year as there was no room in the class for her age group. I was given this place on the understanding that she would have to repeat the class instead of moving up to Kindergarten. A few months later, I got a call from the school telling me that they were compiling the list for advancement to kindergarten and THEY wanted to move her forward as she was as smart as the 4 year olds.
My oldest son is currently one year ahead in school and all three of us are fine.
As long as you have a reasonably intelligent child you should be fine. The only ones that struggle in my opinion are the ones who find learning hard and that can equally apply to children who are the right age for their class.
Dont worry, your daughter will be fine and let her prove the counselor wrong!
njgal - graduated highschool a few montsh before I turned 16. In general I was okay, yes there were some social challenges, tougher part for me was in sports before junior year because I was among the shortest/weakest kids and to keep up with my classmates was very tough. Thanks to tall genes from mum and dad, i started passing my classmates in grade 11 and it did have an impact in sports performance.
I have about 9 summer born children in my class and with some of them, being younger does impact SOME of their learning SOME of the time. However, most of them are the only child, or the youngest at home, two factors which also affect their learning and development. The child, or the parent may feel like the child is playing 'catch up' with the others throughout the school year, but I actually think its not as bad as it sounds, as they are constantly challenged which I see as a good thing. Most of my summer borns are actually the most mature ones in the class.
There was another thread like this a while back...and I remember being surprised that the majority of answers were positive for being the youngest in the class.
I was the youngest too. But my experience was pretty negative. Not too much of a problem in the younger grades but once puberty started among my classmates things got worse. I was physically almost a year behind and the social/emotional gap became pretty big too. I had a tougher time scholastically because I was struggling so much socially.
Its a pretty big decision to make. Because even if she is mature right now...what about later on in teen years. You're going to have to decide without really knowing what the future impact will be. So that makes it tough! Maybe something to look into and consider a bit is - what is the school district like and what are the local kids like? How do the schools in your district handle bullying?
I personally would prefer to give the very best chance for success. So if she's 18 and a half when she graduates instead of 17....it will have negligible imact on her life, yeah? But if she's struggling socially, it can impact her in a way that could follow her and impact her self esteem for the rest of her life. Not that this will happen but its definitely in the realm of possibility.
Good luck and may whatever choice you make work out for the very best!
Thanks *Milly *- it's nice to get a teacher's perpective.
Mama and Niksik - I guess I have to go find the thread.
I keep thinking about social scernarios -
what about when she gets braces and she'll have them on longer than everyone else, or when she has her period and she is the last one.
I guess the typical desi mentality is that "why would you want to hold her a back a year". Everyone thinks I am nuts even for considering the option.
She is brilliant, she is confident (and bossy) and the tallest in her class. I am not worried about her physical apperance but she is not strong emotionally. But I don't know whether that is a perosnally trait or something she is going to grow out of.
How come no one tells you that parenting is about making life altering decisions for your kids :)
Ack, NJgal I hear you....I'm lucky that my boyz were all born past the cutoff and will be among the oldest in their class. I too was not the strongest emotionally while growing up and things went ok till all the other gals got their cycles and their chests....they all called me "flatty" or "skeeter" (ie., mosquito bites)...then I got so very self-concious that I turned into a "follower"...I'd do almost anything to have the other girls accept me. They knew it and they got pretty darn mean about it. High school years were the absolute worst of my life. I dont think applies so much in Pak where focus is more on studies but kids in US are cruel and not enough has been done to address that here IMHO. Some districts are much better than others in how they teach the kids to respect others and all that. So know your schools and know what kinds of people and children you're dealing with.
I know desi culture is so very pro-education - the more the better, the younger the better and the pressure is always on to have the poor kid know the Creb cycle and quadradic equations before age 5. But me? heck...I'd rather my kid be the oldest in the class and be able to shine instead of the youngest and always stuggling - if not with scholastics then with social abilities.
And something to ask your school about is whether they have a program for gifted kids. In our district, the kids who are advanced in their learning skills are put into classrooms with older kids for part of the day and given more advanced work to do. So theres no problem in keeping a younger child back a year because they will learn at their own pace and be with kids of their own ability level anyway.
What exactly is the average age for entrance into Pre-School? I wonder if my son will have to lose a year, as he was born in December, and people have mentioned it may be an issue. Any insight?
A-S...pre-school is very open and usually there are no strict rules. When they start public school though, the general rule is that they must reach age 5 by december 31st to start school. My youngest son was born Jan 6th so he will be probably the oldest kid in his class. But anyway, pre-school is different and depending on the school, they typically try to keep kids within a 2 year gap together - ie., 1 to 2 year old class, a 3 to 4 year old class and then a pre-kindergarten class.
In USA, there is no requirement for formal schooling until 1st grade. You dont even have to send your child to kindergarten. But the norm in my town is to start the kids in some sort of class by age 18 mos (!!!) which I disagree with at least to some extent. My boys have learned so very much at home, the most important thing being that "brothers are best friends for life" and that "family is the most important thing".
Prior to kindergarten age, its really up to you whether or not to send your child. I think kindergarten even tho its not required, is very important because it sets the stage for the real learning which starts in 1st grade.
Ack, NJgal I hear you....I'm lucky that my boyz were all born past the cutoff and will be among the oldest in their class. I too was not the strongest emotionally while growing up and things went ok till all the other gals got their cycles and their chests....they all called me "flatty" or "skeeter" (ie., mosquito bites)...then I got so very self-concious that I turned into a "follower"...I'd do almost anything to have the other girls accept me. They knew it and they got pretty darn mean about it. High school years were the absolute worst of my life. I dont think applies so much in Pak where focus is more on studies but kids in US are cruel and not enough has been done to address that here IMHO. Some districts are much better than others in how they teach the kids to respect others and all that. So know your schools and know what kinds of people and children you're dealing with.
I know desi culture is so very pro-education - the more the better, the younger the better and the pressure is always on to have the poor kid know the Creb cycle and quadradic equations before age 5. But me? heck...I'd rather my kid be the oldest in the class and be able to shine instead of the youngest and always stuggling - if not with scholastics then with social abilities.
And something to ask your school about is whether they have a program for gifted kids. In our district, the kids who are advanced in their learning skills are put into classrooms with older kids for part of the day and given more advanced work to do. So theres no problem in keeping a younger child back a year because they will learn at their own pace and be with kids of their own ability level anyway.
I guess everyone has "High School Horror" stories :) Does anyone here have good high school stories to share :)
You are absoultely right about the comparison between schooling in Pakistan and US. The pressure here on kids are very different and the ability to fit in has an impact on the child's personality. Just like you, it had an effect on mine as well.
This is my first experience with my child starting school so I am full of concerns. The school has great resourses that I am going to avail. They also gave us material about KG readiness which to my surprise had a lot of great activites like cutting circles with scissors, doing wheelbarrows, practicing 3 step instructions with your kid. etc
Hopefully I will not have this issue with the younger one because she'll be one of the older ones.
After reading the thread , I was shocked to see how many of us (desis) have skipped grades! (are we all child geniouses or parents just wanted us to be )
I think only you can decide for your daughter as you know her the best. In here people can tell you great stories and they can tell you horrible stories, but none have to be the case of your daughter, because she is not them after all na .. Personally I have tried all three parts.. being the youngest, being one of the oldest and being somewhere in the middle.. I prefer the last though. My sister on the other hand is/was the youngest in her class during pre-school time and now also in high school, but it has never really effected her, she thinks its great tht she is like 3 yrs younger than some of her classmates and yet equally as good in studies as them .. but then again she is very strong emotionally and has always been more of leader than a follower.
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