The parent didn’t really help me when I needed her and I had asked her to help me with a very difficult situation but she just left me high and dry. She’s a neighbor but she did nothing now because her kid goes to school close to where I work, her really snooty teenage kid is all of a sudden nice to me because I can be her ride.
I try not to hold a grudge but the kid is really spoiled and the parent is just a fair weather neighbor. I’m just thinking I’ll be picking and dropping them off every day for the next 5 yrs. I don’t want to be used.
Not only a neighbor but my colleague, whose kids went to same school as mine, asked me to share the ride, I refused, politely ofcourse.
And don’t blame yourself or have guilt.
And at times it’s okay to hold a grudge.
Tell her to KYA.
If you yourself are describing your former situation as “very difficult”…then your neighbor might also have found it too difficult. People sometimes feel hesitant about involving themselves in delicate situations.
Just as your neighbor had the right to refuse you a favor, you have that same right as well. Just tell her that you are expected at work by a certain time and that you have many professional responsibilities to take care of in the morning and that you won’t be able to pick or drop off her kid to school. She should accept that and leave you alone.
It’s easy to get stuck in school-related traffic…and that could delay your arrival to work, which will not only reflect poorly on you as an employee but it can also mean that you’ll be rushing to get things done in the morning. If the “spoiled” kid is late leaving his house in the morning…that will delay you as well. And sometimes one just wants to enjoy the peace and quite of being alone in their car as they’re driving to and from work. Nor should you have to get up earlier in the morning and change your daily routine…just so that you are in time to pick up someone’s kid.To do such a favor occasionally is fine, but to take it on for 5 years is a big responsibility. If you know this neighbor to be a fair-weather person…then be polite but keep a distance.
Just tell the neighbor that you cannot do this as you as the mornings AND afternoons (time that school ends) are both very busy times for you. If the neighbor insists or pushes…just say, “I’m sorry it’s just not possible for me” and excuse yourself to leave.
I will differ from others here, my philosophy is to keep doing as much good as possible as long as it doesnt hurt you and somehow it comes back in ways you didn’t realize. Would be nice to have the teenagers company rather than driving alone. If you can look past what she did to you then you can be proud to see the person in the mirror. There are people who did amazing things for us and they are not the people we did good to, those people never returned the favor, nature brings the goodness back somehow.
Whatever the situation is (whether it’s driving someone else kid daily or something else), if you don’t want to be used, then take control of the situation. No one can use you unless you allow them to do it.
Whilst I agree that we should help others out as much as possible, the issue here is that if you agree a long term arrangement you are bound by that…like for example some days you may want to leave for work early/run errands on the way same on the return journey.
You end up not being able to make impulse change of plans and stuff
For this very reason my husband refused an arrangement with my SIL to do a school pick up so SIL could do overtime
I love the advice that’s given here, it’s what my gut instinct tells me too. I was scared most would go the Bobby1 route. I admire people that think like Bobby1 but I’ve come across way too many people that would run the other way whenever i’ve needed them and act like I don’t exist so that route is a little too Disney\fairy World for me and not reality. I’m single so handling someone else’s kid is just too much responsibility that I didn’t ask for and too much of a burden just in case something happens like an accident, God forbid. Anyways, thank you, thank you everyone.
yea, that’s why you do everything you can to get out of it. If you’re in the west there are multiple avenues to do so. Sometimes it’s as easy as having a backbone and standing up for your rights and being firm in your words.
I am all for helping others but after being taken advantage of so many times, I think we shouldn’t let anyone walk over us. And if you are in the US then there is a bus service, most likely. Hate kids who feel they are too good for the bus.