Being stuck on someone's past, or focussing on the future?

[Amoureux_de_la_vie]

Re: Being stuck on someone’s past, or focussing on the future?

@Sehrysh

Just for you Muzna, I’ll use an example from my rishta tales…

With one of the guys I had met, he wouldn’t tell me about his past other than to say he was a “changed man” and that his prior indiscretions shouldn’t define who he was now. He assured me he didn’t have any unclaimed illegitimate children in the world I asked how he could be sure of that and he said none of his exes had come back to him to claim child support. I then asked, “How many exes, less than one hand’s worth.” He said no. More than two hands worth? he said yes. His exes weren’t committed relationships - they were convenient booty calls.

The thing is, yes a man/woman can change and maybe their past doesn’t define their present - but knowing something like this about a person leaves you with a negative impression about the character of the person and I didn’t want to know him any further.

Just reading that gives me a bitter aftertaste. I wouldn’t be interested afterwards either.

Now, it is possible to see the situation in such a way for it to feel ok. And maybe you would do that if everything else is spectacular, you know.