My grandad, bless him, love him to death...but oh man, if he doesnt get what he wants when he wants it...major tantrum! Its part of his personailty, always has been since he was very young (my great grandfather may he RIP told me this about 9 years ago) and old age just seems to make it worse. A lot worse. Some of the things he does are just ...woah.
Hes recently been very ill, he has to change his diet but refuses to. I made him food with less salt. He threw it in my face (not literally) and just ranted and raved and then called his daughter in law to tell her i wasnt feeding him! I just laughed...you have to.
I think its the frustration of not being young and active. He only needs 3 hours sleep and hes good to go.
My daddi is the same, she cannot for the life of her stand a single dish being in the sink for more than a minute. If we dont have anything to do, she makes something up. She cant do it herself, so she makes sure we do it.
It's very tricky living with people like that. I do believe it is just venting frustrations as they feel so helpless themselves.
I think of how much they used to do in a single day 20/30 years ago and now due to physically health unable to even walk upstairs.
My mom has started showing signs of memory loss too.
She forgets that she has told me something and will tell me the same thing a week later as if I never heard it before.
I just listen to her patiently, instead of telling her that I know it already.
That's life! One day we will reach that side too. I might even forget that I had JUST READ MILLY's comment above... :(
It's okay - don't worry.
One of my distant relative grandma - was totally gone. Like she would not even remember her own kids names.... forget the names - when her boyz (like 40ish) would come to her room - she would ask - who are you? Where did you come from?
Then the boys would have to re-introduce themselves to her. Tell her that she is the mom, by showing the pictures.
It was sad... but ONLY if you TAKE it that way. That is also a part of life. A phase of life which we must go through.
So why not ENJOY that as well. I learned from those guys that they would still be very cheerful - and be very happy to reintroduce themselves and their kids.
Their wives were cleaning up after their MIL - and the MIL would still ask them too - as soon as they were out of sight - like just step out of the room and return ... the lady would not remember who it was!
we all face such situations ......whenever it happened to me i.e. before getting married. I just used to cry to take out my anger sometimes use to get angry infront of them but that too when things really got out of my control. try to sabar this is what i have learn ....things do change and Allah rewards you for it. Just don't forget that they raised us when we were totaly dependent on them and bear with us when we were all cranky , crying , making our clothes dirty and they have put up with everything including taking care of our dirty napies . Parents do things for us that no one will do , and they dont keep us awake by crying all night like we did to them.
I have a maid who has worked in our house for more than 20 years she listens silently to my mom's daant (which are not justified most of the times) just because she never forgets how kind my mother has been to her when she was in need. She being a stranger , not a blood relation can put up with so much then why can't we do sabr as being children of our parents :)
My mom's 45 and she tells me a story twice or thrice. I keep on reminding her that I already know it because you can't listen to the same thing 3 times.
Don't do that! Just listen to it patiently even if it's the 35th time. I heard a story about a child when he was seven who asked his father why the sky was blue or the grass was green, or about the cicus that was coming in town many many times- the same questions over and over. And the father would respond each time very patiently. The son became older and the father became an old man. The old man asked the son about the weather today three times consecutively. On the third time, the son, now a young man, replied wit irritation, "I have told you twice before alreay, how many will you ask me the same question!!"The father was left with tears in eyes, and the narrator comments about how quickly we forget the sacrifices of our parents!
Isnt it amazing the cycle of life! When we were little children, our nagging of our parents never stopped. 24/7 we asked question after question after question, endlessly. When we were a baby, we just let out one scream and cry and our parents came running, regardless of whether it was the middle of the night, or they were eating, or entertaining guests etc. I think thats whats important to remember. Our parents did SO so SO much for us, we cant even imagine. They were there for us every second that we needed them and sacrificed so much for our own happiness and comfort. Now that they have reached an old age and need you, just do your best to be there for them as much as you can and make everything easy for them. Sabr is really important, but also shukr. Be grateful for these moments you have with them and for the fact that you are actually able to help them. How many people live miles and miles away from their parents and would love to have an opportunity to be with them. How many people's parents have passes away and now they regret all those lost moments. So no matter how difficult it seems at times, just try to cherish it and do the best you can. And remember that one day you too will grow old and weak. You will ask the same questions over and over. You will demand for something and expect to receive it right away. And more often than not, your children will treat you the way you treated your parents!