I realize some people may not like what I have to say, and will bring up points of contention, but I am not here to argue, just doing some freestyle writing of what I am thinking of at the moment.
For someone who grew up in America, I am often told that I am pretty naïve about life and relationships. I started college before most of my peers yet I lagged sorely behind in terms of learning about things in practical life. I live what many people refer to as a sheltered life, and when I do come across individuals I am sometimes scolded for my naiveté. I remember one of my first roommates telling me that she thought I was 16 and not in my twenties due to my behavior and outlook on life. It’s something that many people fail to consider or understand, however she was very understanding and proceeded to not make fun of me for my thoughts, or not verbally punish me due to my thinking. Had she done so, I would have never wanted to open up.
I’ve been seeing it on this board recently. Guppies post things and others are shocked about the fact that people have such thoughts in this day and age, or haven’t “grown up” yet. I find it to be asking for too much. Why do people expect others to have the same education and learning process as them? The same upbringing, the same knowledge? Growing up in America doesn’t mean I should know the ABC’s of relationships, or how men work. It doesn’t mean I cant be shocked at the fact that people drink and drive. If you go to some small towns, theres a lot that people don’t know that people in big cities do know, and vice versa. I’ve experienced it myself.
I find it absolutely silly sometimes that people expect so much from me, or rather for me to be like them. What is the need to get upset over the fact that I don’t know what you know about something? Why must I conform to your thought process? I remember when I was younger I scolded my younger brother for not knowing who the Vice-President was at that time. It shocked me that he didn’t know. Then I felt horrible guilt for making fun of him for that, and I apologized later for doing that. It made him feel stupid, and that simply wasn’t nice. It made him want to not be so open with me due to that, and I realized that and changed my behavior.
It’s a form of oppression when you scold someone for how they were raised to think and believe, and when you insist they think like you or if they don’t, that they shouldnt share their thoughts at all. Or when you make fun of their way of thinking. It’s simply arrogant. I know that because I have done it in the past to others, and perhaps I do it even now, but am trying to curb that behavior of mine.
Whenever people tell me, “Munni, you are so naïve, how can you think like that”, I just want to go back into my shell. Then people wonder why I don’t talk that much to them or go out with them. Well its because I get made fun of so often, or get told I am being ridiculous so often, whats the point. Wouldn’t you like to know how I think and why I think that way, so that perhaps you can educate me or maybe you can learn a thing or two from me? Do people not realize that I have parents much older than them who raised me and know I think like this? Are they going to call my parents naïve as well? What about my older neighbors and those around me and my other relatives? I dont find them to be so intolerable of my ways/being. Perhaps everyone is naïve except them, except you?
There are ways to ask people, and explore people. I refuse to be scared for wanting to share my thoughts. A few times on gupshup I have been told in my posts that I am so naïve, etc, and people have made fun of me. I would vow that I am not going to post again due to that, but I realize that is just as wrong. I know people on gupshup who don’t post just for that reason, out of fear of being made fun of for their “naïve” thoughts. I am what I am, and no matter how others may want to have me “all grown up and knowledgable about the world”, it is going to happen at its own pace, and some people may never grow out of it. Stop wanting to rush other peoples lives. Stop wanting to have so much control of others. (I realize the irony, and I hope you do too.) You learned things at your own pace, and everyone has a pace they move along. If you want people to have more “worldy” views in your opinion, educate them in a manner appropriate, not by poking fun or making statements like, “Oh My Gosh, I cant believe you don’t know that, like DUH.” Or, “How can you think like that, you are so archaic.” Well I suppose humanity has learned so much and is so advanced and evolved that we still have the same problems today that we had centuries ago. Right. Perhaps those people are naive who seem to think that there are many people in the world that are not like them.
Interesting thoughts, Munni.