being "in love" for more than 10yrs...the mature love

[Paheli00]

Re: being “in love” for more than 10yrs…the mature love

@Nisha25

What is it like? what does it feel like, those that have been happily married for 10+ yrs.

the reason i said 10+ years is b/c that initial immature love that exists between couples, the PDA couples:p, is just infatuation i feel and that mature love which lasts for years only starts after the two have lived together for a really long time and both sides care enough to overlook flaws or adjust themselves to make the other happy.

I went on a cruise last week and we met 2 couples (on totally separate occassions) who were on the boat
celebrating their anniversaries: one couples 50 years…another one 53 years. We asked BOTH couples what their “secret” was. Both told us that is was mutual compromise, mutual respect, and mutual communication.

On a side note: I think it’s a false ASSUMPTION on our part to assume that a couple is “in love” just b/c they stay married for 10+ years. I know a few couples who’ve been married for longer than 10 years…and “love” has nothing to do with it. They choose to stay in the marriage b/c they don’t hate their spouse…even though they’re not “in love”. They stay in the marraige b/c of the companionship, and their fear of not being able to find someone else if they get divorce their current spouse. They’re not “in love” with the spouse…but they’re used to the day-to-day life and fear the unknown.