being "in love" for more than 10yrs...the mature love

[Nisha25]

What is it like? what does it feel like, those that have been happily married for 10+ yrs.

the reason i said 10+ years is b/c that initial immature love that exists between couples, the PDA couples:p, is just infatuation i feel and that mature love which lasts for years only starts after the two have lived together for a really long time and both sides care enough to overlook flaws or adjust themselves to make the other happy.

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[Ramsha]

Re: being “in love” for more than 10yrs…the mature love

There’s a woman (not desi) who lives in my neighbourhood. She’s been married for 60 years and her and her husband are still very much in love. I asked her what her secret was and she said respect, friendship and a geniune desire to see the other person happy.

[Deeba1234]

Re: being “in love” for more than 10yrs…the mature love

@Nisha25

What is it like? what does it feel like, those that have been happily married for 10+ yrs.

**
the reason i said 10+ years is b/c that initial immature love that exists between couples, the PDA couples:p, is just infatuation i feel** and that mature love which lasts for years only starts after the two have lived together for a really long time and both sides **care enough to overlook flaws or adjust themselves to make the other happy. **

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Couldn’t it be that they’ve also just gotten used to them lol..

Imo it’s wrong to label any ‘new’ love or feelings as always just infatuation.. everyone is different and everyone loves and feels for people in diff ways.. Some of us experience a very intense love whilst for others it’s more relaxed or sweet.. If and when you fall in love you’ll see for yourself..

[emphadiate]

Re: being “in love” for more than 10yrs…the mature love

@Ramsha

There’s a woman (not desi) who lives in my neighbourhood. She’s been married for 60 years and her and her husband are still very much in love. I asked her what her secret was and she said respect, friendship and a geniune desire to see the other person happy.

That pins it down exactly!
My nana and nani are so cut together… they bicker and argue a lot, but you can just tell it means nothing compared to the magnitude of care they have for each other! My nana talks in this baby-ish *laad *voice that never fails t make my nani smile!

Another thing… they’re able to make each other laugh! I think its important not too take yourself too seriously, in this sense!

[Paheli00]

Re: being “in love” for more than 10yrs…the mature love

@Nisha25

What is it like? what does it feel like, those that have been happily married for 10+ yrs.

the reason i said 10+ years is b/c that initial immature love that exists between couples, the PDA couples:p, is just infatuation i feel and that mature love which lasts for years only starts after the two have lived together for a really long time and both sides care enough to overlook flaws or adjust themselves to make the other happy.

I went on a cruise last week and we met 2 couples (on totally separate occassions) who were on the boat
celebrating their anniversaries: one couples 50 years…another one 53 years. We asked BOTH couples what their “secret” was. Both told us that is was mutual compromise, mutual respect, and mutual communication.

On a side note: I think it’s a false ASSUMPTION on our part to assume that a couple is “in love” just b/c they stay married for 10+ years. I know a few couples who’ve been married for longer than 10 years…and “love” has nothing to do with it. They choose to stay in the marriage b/c they don’t hate their spouse…even though they’re not “in love”. They stay in the marraige b/c of the companionship, and their fear of not being able to find someone else if they get divorce their current spouse. They’re not “in love” with the spouse…but they’re used to the day-to-day life and fear the unknown.