there is something strange about desi women. even if they are in a relationship they wont admit to it. i mean if you go to a white or a black or a hispanic girl and ask her out, she would usually decline it poliltely or say she has a boyfriend or something like that. but not with these desi women. they try to project themselves "pure". if asked they are in a relationship, the usual reply is "I am not that kind of girl". and sooner or later you find out that she is that kind of girl she had denied earlier.
attraction to the opposite sex is normal. still normal is being with someone. what is not normal is denying it. if you are afraid of being listed as a slut on that account dont go for a relationship in the first place. otherwise dont deny the truth.
I have seen so much of that in the USA, UK and pakistan. and it is always a desi girl who does that. just had to vent it.
thanks for listening.
only 2 days ago , i refused to a guy saying i have a bf.
which part of the world do u belong to ? uhu?
First of all, in my knowledge, desis girls usually prefer a man sending his parents to her parents for rishta ( incase he is interested)
IF he is not interested and asking only due to curiosity, than replies like "I am not that kind of girl" might be a polite way of saying " It is non of your business to know"
Moral lesson (without offense to anyone ) : IF I am interested in marrying a desi girl, I should either request my parents or any elder to meet her parents or any elder
OR
I should clearly tell her that I am interested in marrying her.
IF I am not interested than I have no right to act like a spy by asking information which has nothing to do with me, SPECIALLY when the person is himself not interested in telling me.
Wanna know what else is hypocracy..... saying that wer'e muslims and not acting it!!!! (i'm assuming u r muslim).
Here's what wiki defines a Muslim as: "A Muslim (Arabic: مسلم) is an adherent of the religion of Islam. The feminine form of Muslim is Muslimah (Arabic: مسلمة). Literally, the word means "one who submits to God)".
Note the part where is says that Muslims ADHERE to the religion of Islam... now what does our religion tell us about dating, or any other premarital relation for that matter (and no, I'm not just talking about s_ _!)
Are we really submitting to Allah SWT by acting in a way that our religion totolly prohibits????
It's "abnormal" for a muslim to lead such a life... even more "abnormal" for a muslim find nothing wrong with it (which is the vibe i got from ur post)... and for those who are going to deny this, well thats would be the pinnacle of abnormality!
If a dude is interested in a girl, it can be ONLY for marriage, and NOTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Screw for hypocritical the desi girls around u and just worry about yourself, quyamat key din Allah SWT siruf app ke actions key baare mey poochey gai, not about the desi girls who turned u down!
Just thought I'd vent as well :)
actually i did not tell you the whole thing. My family had asked for the rishta of a girl. she lives in a western country( and i am not going to say where). and there was no response for a long time. then i came to know through someone close to her that she liked somebody else. I am a person who believes in teh free choice of people choosing their life partners. so i called this girl up and told her that i would not press on the matter if she really liked someone else. and she was like " do you think i am that kind of girl". and that is what angered me.
and i think that is hypocrisy.
I dont have a problem with them being in relationships before they get married. it is a natural urge and we are very much attracted to the opposite sex. also i dont consider them sluts.. it is their thinking, perhaps all around desi thinking, that they think they are sluts.
its their problem, not mine.
^ only if all guys start accepting gurls with relationships n have no problems accepting them as wives i can surely say there wont be any hypocricy left
actually i did not tell you the whole thing. My family had asked for the rishta of a girl. she lives in a western country( and i am not going to say where). and there was no response for a long time. then i came to know through someone close to her that she liked somebody else. I am a person who believes in teh free choice of people choosing their life partners. so i called this girl up and told her that i would not press on the matter if she really liked someone else. and she was like " do you think i am that kind of girl". and that is what angered me.
and i think that is hypocrisy.
ooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk now i get you! sorry for the original post, I didn't know that this is the background u were approaching it from... i thought u were into dating them. Sorry again.
waisey bhi, aggar woh kisi aur mein interested thi, you shouldv'e left it... if the ppl weren't decent enough to answer your proposal in the first place, you should consider it a "no", pretend as if the rishta was never there, and continue to look elsewhere in families that r decent enough to politely say "no" to u if not interested, just ignoring a rishta and not replying is a cheap act...
Dude, the desi women/girls I know will never deny the fact that they are in a relationship or even like someone. I even know SINGLE desi girls who have thrown off guys saying "I have a boyfriend" (That actually includes me too, when I was single).
I am confused. You are labeling desi girls in relationships as sluts? How do you expect a desi larki to tell you that she has a boyfriend if you come off looking like "I like you 'cause me thinks you Ho" type...?????
Dude, the desi women/girls I know will never deny the fact that they are in a relationship or even like someone. I even know SINGLE desi girls who have thrown off guys saying "I have a boyfriend" (That actually includes me too, when I was single).
I am confused. You are labeling desi girls in relationships as sluts? How do you expect a desi larki to tell you that she has a boyfriend if you come off looking like "I like you 'cause me thinks you Ho" type...?????
I did not say they were sluts. its their mentality not mine. its like they are always saying " I am not a slut. I dont have a boyfriend". it is their way of associating having a relataionship with sluttiness.
Aww.... does that mean you dont belong to desi culture yourself? how cute so why are you looking for a desi girl to hang out with if you do not like their double standards?
[quote="jaanaan, post:7, topic:169109"]
I dont have a problem with them being in relationships before they get married. it is a natural urge and we are very much attracted to the opposite sex. also i dont consider them sluts.. **it is their thinking, perhaps all around desi thinking, that they think they are sluts. ** its their problem, not mine./quote]
*i dont think your mum will approve of a girl for you as a wife who has been known for going out.... *
thats why
once it gets accepted in out society .. desi girls will have no problem accepting that
i beg to disagree with you..mem moms decide everything for her offsprings.....only when they are kids.... when they are grown ups..... its no body's but that person's business.... so chosing a girl to marry is not ammi's or abu's or sister's job....
Aww.... does that mean you dont belong to desi culture yourself? how cute so why are you looking for a desi girl to hang out with if you do not like their double standards?
[quote="jaanaan, post:7, topic:169109"]
I dont have a problem with them being in relationships before they get married. it is a natural urge and we are very much attracted to the opposite sex. also i dont consider them sluts.. **it is their thinking, perhaps all around desi thinking, that they think they are sluts. **
its their problem, not mine./quote]
I wish i was never born in desi culture. if i had a choice i would never have done so.
i beg to disagree with you..memmoms decide everything for her offsprings.....only when they are kids....when they are grown ups..... its no body's but that person's business....so chosing a girl to marry is not ammi's or abu's or sister's job....
true. families in desi culture are so intrusive. they want you to choose a career they like, the wife the like, the school they like. they make it as if it is their duty. i think the job of the adults should be like guides, not like dictators. we have dictators in our families.
[QUOTE]
there is something strange about desi women. even if they are in a relationship they wont admit to it. i mean if you go to a white or a black or a hispanic girl and ask her out, she would usually decline it poliltely or say she has a boyfriend or something like that. but not with these desi women. they try to project themselves "pure". if asked they are in a relationship, the usual reply is "I am not that kind of girl". and sooner or later you find out that she is that kind of girl she had denied earlier.
attraction to the opposite sex is normal. still normal is being with someone. what is not normal is denying it. if you are afraid of being listed as a slut on that account dont go for a relationship in the first place. otherwise dont deny the truth.
I have seen so much of that in the USA, UK and pakistan. and it is always a desi girl who does that. just had to vent it.
thanks for listening.
[/QUOTE]
jooot jooot …heeheee