It seems judging from alot of the posts here and from talking to friends, girls especially are disgusted by the fact someone they don’t care for at all or only considered a friend could dare to like them… and automatically think the guy must be some kind of pervert and no longer trust him or want anything to do with him.
Then there are people guys & girls too who would happily take advantage of someone they were not interested in knowing full well how much the person likes them.
I think with that kinda attitude you deserve to be alone.
oks rather then turn this into another post complaining about how guys & girls mistreat each other let’s see if we can turn this into something constructive…
What would you recommend is the best way to deal with someone who you do not care for but is interested in you? Now there are the obvious easy situations where the person liking you is a stranger or gives you very good reason not to like them.. but what if the person is a friend? or just someone you know who is really nice..just that you’re not interested
>>…only considered a friend could dare to like them…<<
yaar, Waqas, it’s not that EVERY SINGLE girl thinks - oh my God, how dare this jerk like me. Maybe that is the impression received from perusing through threads on gupshup, but in real life yaar - honestly, please take my word for it, everyone is so unique it’s impossible to generalize.
First point - not ALL girls think alike. (Thank You, Allah, for that).
Secondly, first put yourself into the shoes of the girl. Maybe for her she just feels uncomfortable. She’s not necessarily thinking i am Cleopatra, how dare someone like that dude, fall for me. Neither is she necessarily thinking, EW get away from me you perv. Last but not least, neither is she necessarily thinking How dare he have the beysharmi to fall for me.
Sometimes, the girl in that situation is simply thinking the following: i don’t want to get into a relationship, this time in my life is not suitable for that, i am happy where and how things currently stand for me in my life vis-a-vis all present factors, i don’t want any substantial change to affect that. Is this arrogant? Or is this just simply what the girl genuinely feels that she wants deep inside? If it is the former, then screw the girl. But if it is the latter - then let’s try to understand and not judge the female. She is not being arrogant (i deserve better) nor judgemental (you pervert). She’s just being herself and doing what makes HER happiest. That’s not a crime is it ? If it is, then every single, each and every guppy is guilty of a first-degree crime here because we all do things in our lives to make us feel happy. We don’t have to trample rough shod over others’ feelings to attain our inner happiness, but sometimes - yes, you do have to take a stand… if for your own sanity.
What would you recommend is the best way to deal with someone who you do not care for but is interested in you?<< argh. Let them know very gently. Easier said than done i fully realize. But the sooner you let them know exactly what your feelings are like inside, maybe the easier it would be for the other person. The old adage always applies “We can always remain friends”. But whether or not the other person wants to remain “friends”, should manifestly be left upto the other individual because maybe s/he is not comfortable being in that role. Better in that case, then, if all ties are cut loose.
My summarized two cents’ worth: Every situation is unique. Every girl is unique. Thank You, Allah, for that diversity.
nadz some nice thoughts there yaar masha’Allah hugz
being a girl…if the other person sincerely liked and respected me…was approaching me with noble intentions and in a decent manner…wanted to get married to me…i’d be most humbled and honored…no matter who that person is…even if they’re the biggest criminal in the world…coz for any human being to give me that ruTba and darJa…is very nice of them and giving me more than i deserve…
i hafta agree with nadz abt that point too…that maybe u r not at a stage in life where you can commit to something coz things r too much in flux, and there r too many variables in life…in that case for the betterness of both you’ll have to be really honest…being nice is sooo important but there is a thin line between being nice and giving false hopes…unintentionally but possibly…if there is no prospect at all at all at all then its best to be striaghtforward and gently firm in the gentlest way possible right from the very beginning…
Some of my guy friends tell me its easiest to just stop talking to a friend they are interested in if the friend has no interest in them in that way. Some of them say they will be somewhat bitter if the friendship remains or that it will be too difficult to maintain an honest friendship.
Hehe I've been in that situation from both sides. Well if someone likes you and you don't like them back in the same way, you gotta be honest with them - not in a rude way though. Nothing that complicated about it. You guys sweat small stuff.
sadzzz lol now you're assuming! Had this been about your thread I would have not made this a seperate topic :)
I agree with Irem you really do gotta be gentle about it but very straightforward too so there's no false impression of a 'maybe one day'... unless you're not sure how you feel. Which I think it's ok to say you really don't know too.
I think ignoring someone is just way too cruel cause then they'll think they did something wrong and drive themselves crazy with guilt over nothing! And what is their crime? They like you?
Nah that's way too cruel. Just imagine really liking someone yourself and they just pretend you don't exist without saying anything or giving you a reason.
Actually I started this topic cause I've been put in this situation myself... where I had to turn girls down cause they were interested in me... it's a really tough situation to be in...
yaar, Waqas, it’s not that EVERY SINGLE girl thinks - oh my God, how dare this jerk like me. Maybe that is the impression received from perusing through threads on gupshup, but in real life yaar - honestly, please take my word for it, everyone is so unique it’s impossible to generalize.
argh. Let them know very gently. Easier said than done i fully realize. But the sooner you let them know exactly what your feelings are like inside, maybe the easier it would be for the other person. The old adage always applies “We can always remain friends”. But whether or not the other person wants to remain “friends”, should manifestly be left upto the other individual because maybe s/he is not comfortable being in that role. Better in that case, then, if all ties are cut loose.
