Being compared with a cousin? Right or wrong?

[redvelvet]

@GuardianAngel

My mother always goes on on how i’m a lazy ass, how i don’t do anything, and calls me a series of nasty names, hell some of them I don’t even know what it means.

then she went to the point that my older cousins are much better then me, behave better then me, have a better personality then me, and sometimes even look better then me. She has said this, so many times. I recall her telling me this and now i’m just at the peak of my anger point.

it degrades me so badly because those same cousins usually tease me. one of them, i remember last year, was a total ******* and called me ugly, and said if i looked in the mirror i would realize how unattractive i am. this comment still haunts me sometimes, and the way my narrow-minded mom compares me to them is something that PISSES ME OFF THE MOST, as well as causing major sores on my own self-esteem.

i can’t respect my mother the same way i did before anymore. all she does cause misery and even jealousy. i have strong feelings of dislike for my cousins just because of my mom’s comments for me and how she compares us. my dad hardly does this and disapproves of my mom’s comments 99.9 percent of the time.

i neither dislike nor even like my mother. i just don’t know what to think of her anymore.

Feel your pain.

Argue with your mom in a calm manner. Tell her that people don’t remain in a constant state and that since you don’t live under the same roof as your cousin 24/7…you don’t see every facet of their personality. Tell mom she can’t base her judgment on just a few appearances that your cousins make throughout the year…and that most people behave well in the presence of company.

Tell your mom that her words are not making you change any faster…and rather they are really hurting your feelings. Have you tried that? I once told my mom her words hurt me…and she was taken aback…and apologized. Sometimes you have to be direct.

Your cousin’s comments about your looks is a reflection of her own insecurity. Don’t take her seriously. How low must you be feeling to put someone down like that, right? Have you told your mom about your cousin’s comments? I think you should. I did that…and although my mom didn’t throw a cow over it…her opinions about the person soon changed…became more realistic, lol.