How do you not get your hopes up high? Why do girls get this fairy tale image of how everything will be hunky dory and happily ever after?
I get this feeling EVERY SINGLE TIME some dude gives me a lift, inevitably setting me up for disappointment.
Why can’t I just accept that nothing’s worked out so far, and maybe I need to stop it with all the dreams and hopes of a happy family and happy home?
disgruntled guppan
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
PCG...i think you need to calm down. If you are having trouble living the kind of life that you want to live, its probably because you aren't acting like someone living that life should, otherwise its just a matter of time. There is a reason why nothing has worked out so far, and most of the time all you need is someone who cares enough to tell you what that is.
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
Might be because you are expecting too much. There is nothing even close to perfect. I think you should stop thinking about it. Don't try to make it happen. Let it all happen by itself.
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
Men give you 'lift', presumably quite frequently, which means they find you attractive.
I'm sure you are getting more attention from men than the vast majority of men get from women. You should be happy about it.
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
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Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
PCG you made me sad :( :(
Beginnings of a Relationship
You have to allow yourself to let things happen naturally and stop thinking about everything so much! Stop reading into every message, every smile, every phone call you get from these/this potential guy as your ticket to a happy ever after. You need to realize, real life is NOT as romantic as they make it out to be, even if you are with somebody that can give you your happy ending. Not every single moment you spend with a guy is going to be hunky dory! Your going to have beginning awkwardness, weird silences, something he might say/do is going to make you scratch your head but THAT'S OK! The guy is only human and you just have to relax and STOP THINKING about everything SOOO MUCH sista! Don't be so quick to judge these men but make sure your not blinding yourself to any major red flags. Like that smelly dude, no jacket dude; he was obviously annoying and by the sounds of your post not your type if things he was saying on a first date erked you-yes that's a red flag. Do you see what I'm getting at? If your talking to somebody right now that you see potential in, just let it happen, stop thinking your happy ever is here! Just my point of view from somebody who married a guy that I originally rejected flat out directly/ and vice versa and then eded up just talking casually as friends to not put our families in an awkward spot, I literally did not even realize I was in a relationship till a few months passed and we decided to get engaged a year later. And thats not as romantic as it sounds because real life isnt thst romantic! You share special moments with some one and a develop an understanding with but that doesnt mean every moment is going to be spent swooning over them till your wedding day. So my point is things will happen when you least expect them to, so just let happen naturally and with ease! Your not getting a happy after right away! Things take time. :)
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
thats coz you are thinking with your other head again, pcg..
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
good points guys.
i'm deliberately trying to scare this dude away, although he sounds like gold....but then so did the troll...until I saw him.
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
^ Is this another online guy?
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
You have to allow yourself to let things happen naturally and stop thinking about everything so much! Stop reading into every message, every smile, every phone call you get from these/this potential guy as your ticket to a happy ever after. You need to realize, real life is NOT as romantic as they make it out to be, even if you are with somebody that can give you your happy ending. Not every single moment you spend with a guy is going to be hunky dory! Your going to have beginning awkwardness, weird silences, something he might say/do is going to make you scratch your head but THAT'S OK! The guy is only human and you just have to relax and STOP THINKING about everything SOOO MUCH sista! Don't be so quick to judge these men but make sure your not blinding yourself to any major red flags. Like that smelly dude, no jacket dude; he was obviously annoying and by the sounds of your post not your type if things he was saying on a first date erked you-yes that's a red flag. Do you see what I'm getting at? If your talking to somebody right now that you see potential in, just let it happen, stop thinking your happy ever is here! Just my point of view from somebody who married a guy that I originally rejected flat out directly/ and vice versa and then eded up just talking casually as friends to not put our families in an awkward spot, I literally did not even realize I was in a relationship till a few months passed and we decided to get engaged a year later. And thats not as romantic as it sounds because real life isnt thst romantic! You share special moments with some one and a develop an understanding with but that doesnt mean every moment is going to be spent swooning over them till your wedding day. So my point is things will happen when you least expect them to, so just let happen naturally and with ease! Your not getting a happy after right away! Things take time. :)
This is great advice and I agree with you, but the Grammar Nazi in me is going: Y u no use paragraphs?!
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
Sorry! posted it from the gs app on my iphone and it was hard to go back and re read and look at it!
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
good points guys.
i'm deliberately trying to scare this dude away, although he sounds like gold....but then so did the troll...until I saw him.
Why are you so negetive PCG? Why do you think you might be scaring him away? Do you challenge everything he says (even though in your heart you feel...hmmm I kind of agree?) I know some girls like this and its because they're afraid and don't really know how to let things happen because of many internal reasons. Just relax.
But Im curious, what are you doing to scare him away?
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
its bollywood PCG...it got into your head.
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
I suweeaaarrr Bollywood movies like DDLJ and Jab we met has totally messed up with our heads:bummer:
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
^ Is this another online guy?
YES!!!
I swear to God, if I had time to create some desi interest group of some sort, I would. But I work long hours. Why can't some of these stay at homes organize this sort of thing? Or girls who have WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS??
Be productive people.
I did start a meet up group though out here. I have not checked to see who joined it yet. Haha. Urgh.
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
Have you seen 10 ways to lose a guy - I forget the title, something like that.
By being an overly anxious annoying woman, reading into everything, asking the guy why isn’t he callling when he called yesterday, and then telling him you are planning your career around him and his amma. :halo:
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Oh dear, yes I know the movie reference with kate hudsen and mathew mcconnaughey? Hmmmm, and how long have you been talking to him though?
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
Wait. which guy?
Re: Beginnings of a Relationship
Ok this is the cop, based on when I started this thread.
He's still talking to me. I told him I was surprised I hadn't scared him away and WHY ever would he still want to talk to me, he said it's because he thinks I'm nice and pretty when I laugh, despite all the tension in my life.
I kept talking to him like an uloo.
He seems like the kid who barely made it through high school. Not much upstairs...
Plus, he dresses like a KID. I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT IS IT WITH 30 YR OLD DESI MEN DRESSING LIKE THEY'RE 18??
Urgh, another one I need to take to banana republic. God darn it.