Re: Basic expecations in a relationship. HELP HELP HELP!
^The above highlighted bit is pretty telling…looks like he’s giving her a big clue with that comment and maybe she hasn’t realized it yet. If he believes that she’s not the kind of woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with then she should just end it with him.
They don’t have a healthy relationship. I wonder if maybe he’s pressuring her to the point that she’ll be the first to end things with him…and spare him the discomfort of being the “dumper.” Relationships are about compromise…not controlling one another. There is no “maturity” in him setting ultimatums, making threats, and pressuring her to change but not explaining what changes he wants to her to make. Her bending over backwards and acting like a doormat to please him is not reflective of maturity either. They both sound like kids who are toying with the idea of playing house.
I don’t know if maybe it’s become an “ego” issue for him that he changed so much for her and therefore wants her to do the same…or if maybe he resents the changes he’s made. I can understand (to an extent) changing yourself for those you love…but those changes should also be made because the individual believes in them. If he quit drinking/smoking…he should have done it more for himself.
This is not what your friend would want to hear…but I don’t get a good feeling about this “relationship” if it can even be called that. I think it’s better to end it.