bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Hiya girls, I stumbled upon this forum in the hopes of finding my way around getting a wedding together!!

UK based student who’s on a budget I am crying at the prospect of having to fund my own asian wedding. So far I made a rough list, and have plotted that all of it is going to cost around £10,000 just for a wedding and mendi…and the figure for a broke undergrad is making me dizzy!
And that’s for a wedding of say £300-£400 - Am I over estimating the costs?

So I have taken out a student loan and been frantically planning some sort of job after i graduate (which isn’t going well) and planning to work 6/7 months full on to raise the money…yes I am indeed in dire circumstances! It’s like the sweetness of finding ‘the one’ is overshadowed with worries of one day (2 if you add the mendi)!

Here’s where I hope you guys can help me…

I heard the best way to bargain down venue and catering prices is to not only book when no one else is having a wedding but to spin stories and make some connection with the venue seller. Any stories you guys can think of that could send some pity their way and at the same time be included easily into talk and guarantee me some discounts? Also which month is it seem ok to hold a wedding but not uber stupid, like holding it in December might seem all winter wonder land ish but the bitter cold might put people off coming? What months could land me a discount and not be out-casted by the rest of the “khandan”?

And all those Uk girls on here any good venues to consider?

Also since the wedding dresses in Lodon are definitely not a cheap affair starting in the hundreds and ending in the thousands I’ve resorted to going online and finding Indian and Pakistani textile suppliers, my only worry is the fear of being ripped off! What my issue is what rates should I be expecting as normal for a decent enough wedding dress from “back home”? What styles are in fashion? what kind of materials and kaam should I be looking out for?

lastly if you guys have any other money saving techniques please please let me know!

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

300 - 400 people*** second paragraph last line- I'm such a goof

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

Hi,
I sympathise with you- the costs are crazy and let me tell you, it all adds up. Things like the venue, dress, gold, cars, photography, cake, outfits- it's pretty crazy. From my own experience, I think first of all, the bigger and grander the affair you make it, the more it'll cost. I think the way forward is to simplify and try to work out exactly what it is you absolutely must have and what you can live without. Is there any way of reducing the guest list? Having a joint one day wedding? Doing the mehndi at home?

For a venue, use the fact you have such a high number of guests to get an agreeable price. Play one venue off against the other. Not lying obviously, but you can always say that you've heard that so and so place does a better deal. Negotiate on the number of courses and dishes. Ask friends to help- for example, you might know someone who can bake cakes, or can recommend a decent photographer. You might know of someone who does make up. For beauty treatments you can negotiate a good price by buying treatments in packages. You can start shopping for after wedding wear in sales and limit the amount of things you buy.

And last of all remember it's not the be all and end all of everything. You're not putting all this debt on your head and going through so much stress for other people's opinions. I honestly think the simpler things are, the more you'll enjoy them but i do understand it's a fine line between keeping yourself happy and doing whats expected....

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

My suggestion? rather than looking for a Lenga in Pakistan/India why dont you come to Bradford? There are various shops with many different designs, at least if you get one from here you know the fitting will be just right. Imagine ordering something from India only to find it doesnt fit when you get it and there are only 2 weeks to your wedding?

Have a smaller mehndi, a friend of mine had a very small function and decided on 'ladies only'

I agree with Pinkheels ask friends to help out with make up and teatments...do you really need to go to the salon for your waxing or could you do it yourself? do you have a friend or relative who could do your mehndi for free? i've done that so many times for relatives saving them loads of money.

when buuying bulk items, for example little pouches for sweets etc can be bought for a good price on ebay.

Too bad you are in London I do bridal mehndi for £75 and could have done you a good deal..

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

@ Sadia: lol im feeling the pinch trust me, you guys are awesome for giving my your votes of encouragement, i just don;t know where to start...

I never thought about going to Bradford for a wedding dress! that's deffo one I'll look into, and I've decided on a female only mendi, just don;t have the space at home to hold one, plus if it might be during the offpeak wedding season people might freeze to death in a marquee in the garden lol

I have a friend who does mendi- that's a good sugesstion.

should i get stage makers to do my mendi decorations? or would it be cheaper to make my own? I don;t really know since I've not checked the rates.

@ Pink heels: I talked to my parents about making the guest list smaller, but they've just gone silent on the issue, I'd love if I only had to cater for 250-300 people. ill try and push for it

I like the idea of pitting the venue owners against one another, perhaps put in a sad sob story?

Do you know any good affordable caterers? what price range should I be looking at?
Venues also, what should I be bargaining it down to?

Ah i have no benchmark to deal with but your replies have lifted my spirits thanks girls

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

sfm123 - aren't your parents contributing? I really feel for you. But weddings are so expensive!

For mehndi, I would suggest booking a community hall as they are usually cheaper and charge by the hour. Where in London are you? I'm in London too :)

I hope I can help in some way. x

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

my parents are pretty poor...they're the type who hold dear to their respect, and I want to help them hold on to that, hence the frantic worrying... I'm the guy of the house...so to speak lol hence I'm planning to work my ass off and earn as much as i can to leave my parents feeling stress free and secure, knowing that when it's crunch time she can take care of herself and stand on her own two feet... those who have parents that can afford even the simplest weddings are mashallah very lucky.

community halls sound good I'm thinking of trying out a local one for the mendi hopefully they wont charge too much and allow stapling on the wall if i decide to decorate it myself!

ah help from others like family would be great, but you know the typically family drama, I don't ever want to have the feeling of being indebted to those who'll remind me all my life that they did so and so for me!! grr

aliya whatever help is great, caterers, venue ideas anything! whatever I need to know about weddings and where to go, from scratch would be great...

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

sfm123 - where in london are you? and then I can try and help accordingly :) x

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

the best way of cutting back your costs is cutting back on your guest list. is it necessary to have so many people? can you get away with 150-200 person guest list instead of 300-400? there might be some disgruntled people, but hey, whats more important- feeding them a free meal or saving your sanity?

in terms of venues, weekday weddings tend to be much cheaper than weekend ones, as are offseason weddings. i know in toronto, anytime from october to march is considered offseason and all wedding vendors usually have lower rates and are more willing to offer discounts during those months as opposed to high season weddings during the spring/summer and fall.

as well, consider getting married on any other day than a friday/sat/sun. lunch weddings also tend to be cheaper than dinner receptions.

talk to public venues like libraries too- they can be beautiful and make interesting venues and they might not have the same costs as a banquet hall.

have a mehendi at home or consider a private backyard- do you know anyone who would be open to having a tent in their backyard? there might be private houses in and around your area that would consider it for a smaller fee than a venue.

as for vendor negotiations, be honest. i don't think playing them off against each other would work- they might just tell you to go to that other place and then what would you do? so i'd say, be honest and tell them you have a limited budget and what are they willing to do for you within that budget? you might be surprised at how willing people are to work for your business, espe. in this economy.

and while this might sound counter-intuitive, consider consulting with a good wedding planner. the consultation fees might be worth it in the amount of savings they can score for you with all their connections to vendors and the industry. you don't have to hire them for the full planning, but certainly it helps to go to people who know how to negotiate and who have access to special vendor rates that are not available to the retail public.

as for the "khandan", the best piece of advice i can offer is stop worrying about their opinions. worry about pleasing yourself, and your parents, and having a respectable shaadi without going broke. its one day, remember, and you don't want to start married life off with thousands of dollars in loans. december weddings are perfectly acceptable- if you're afraid of snow, what about november or february?

for details like invitations, consider websites like minted.com and etsy.com -- etsy in particular is excellent for sourcing invitations that you can even print out on your own without spending tons of money.

instead of spending money on brand-new gold jewellery, consider wearing your mom's or grandmother's- their jewellery is often prettier than anything you can get these days and of course, theres the sentimental factor of wearing an heirloom too. i wore the set my nani gave my mom and based my whole wedding around it in terms of colours and style.

instead of getting an expensive cake, consider a smaller cake to cut into and cupcakes. or look at bakeries, esp the italian ones, do excellent wedding cakes and they don't cost as much as a "designer" cake. if you take pictures off the internet of what you like, they'll be able to recreate it.

for flowers, look at wholesalers, instead of decorators and florists.

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Re: bargaining venue hire, and ordering dresses from India/Pak

I really feel for you May Allah Inshallah make it easy for you.

At the end of the day you have to persuade your parents that you're paying for this without any support so it's only fair to have a limited guest list.

Go with cheaper caterers like Abid catering and Punjab caterers who are based in the London area and yes there food is good!

For the mendhi try a village hall they are cheap my local one is only £140 to hire from 3pm to 12pm!

Try and borrow things from people that you trust e.g bags, shoes, gold jewellery. You could also make your own wedding invitations which is simple and cheap. Contacts are the best ring around friends and ask if they know any make up artists, mendhi, dhol drummers, djs etc.

If you hire a cheaper hall then you can spare more money on the decoration. Also banqueting suites are cheaper than hotels etc. Best time would be off peak which is mainly October-march time.

Goodluck x