i would find this very difficult. ive just got married and trust me, its very difficult to get my way even if its in their best interests. i think its best you let your parents give you something and your in laws something. imagine all your life you have been their dependent, and suddenly madam can afford her own stuff so mum dad no longer required. as much as you mean this in the best way, i think your mum dad may feel abit left out. i told my mum not to give me anything yet she did anyway, she feels happy. it makes them happy to give their kids something, so let them. i realised my mum was more woried/stressed/upset if she didnt give anything. so dont worry about being a burden, your their child for gods sake. let them do as they wish. itl make them happy. of course im sure your mum dad wouldnt put themselves in such dire financial stress, but giving a little on your wedding, is ok. its the last time theyl give you anything as such anyway, cos after that your married..