Re: baree & jahez
^Thanks!
My parents understand where Im coming from especially because I have never asked them to spend on anything for me. My mom still is a mother and wants to give me certain things that I will not refuse because it will make her happy. The problem is, I don't know how and what to tell my inlaws. I don't want a baree and let's say if I stay quiet and let them do what they want and they find out later that I didn't take jahez from my parents, I don't want them getting offended or having a showdown. So I want to deal with this as peacefully as possible.
As for charity, instead of having weddings favors at the wedding, my husband and I are donating money to a couple of charities in Pakistan (in memory of my and his grandparents), and will give a card to our guests telling them a donation has been made in their name to so and so place. Sgc gave me this idea at my nikkah time when my husband's mamoo passed away suddenly so Im really grateful to her for this!