Re: baree & jahez
I think its great what you are doing and totally applaud your efforts!
Its natural for parents to want to spoil and pamper their daughter as she is leaving to start a new life, as a gesture of the love and care they have for you. Perhaps what you can suggest is whatever your parents had wanted to spend on your jahez, that they donate it towards some poor girl in Pakistan wedding. There are so so many poor families in Pakistan who go into debt for life, imagine the difference it would make to give such a gift to them. Im sure there are alot of charity organizations that collect donations to buy wedding dresses and such for poor girls, or if you have any relatives in Pakistan they can perhaps deliver the money personally. If your parents are adament to give and you are adament to not take from them, then I think this is a great compromise and giving in charity is always a means of blessing and insha Allah it will bring more blessing and happiness to your marriage and life. Aside from that, if it will really hurt them for you not to take anything at all from them, I think you might at least yeild to something, more as a a wedding gift, a token, even if its just like one set. Because it is also from their khussi to give something to their daughter that you will look back and remember that my parents gave this to me on my wedding day
Hope it all works out for you!