http://www.bandbaja.org/issues/007/features/paajee.php
Another hilarious article on BB. I am not a big fan of that site, but some of their recent stuff is funny, epecially on the polo-foxy ads 
Kee Hoya Way, Paa Jee?
By Sidrah Haque
Sidrah wonders. Yes, she wonders and wonders. She sometimes wonders in her favorite seat, steaming mug of coffee in hand, staring off in space. She wonders and wonders while watching half-naked men jump into murky canal water on her university bus trip to class. She even wonders, every night, before she goes to sleep, right after murmuring a small prayer to God.
But what?
What is it that Sidrah is wondering so much about? What is that is incessantly taking up so much of her valuable thinking time? What for Godâs sake? And hurry up and tell us before we attempt to stab her to death.
Alright, alright. Calm down.
Sidrah wonders about Indus Music.
What the ****? You ask of Sidrah.
Sidrah sighs. She gives you a quizzical look and remarks that sheâll start from the very beginning.
Once upon a time, God was bored. Heck, so would you be if youâd have to sit in a throne, up in heaven, all day long, and watch the angels fly around in hushed whispers for entertainment. Yessiree. He was bored alright. So he decided to create Man. Hence earth was formed. And Man and Woman were sent to earth. God thought Man and Woman would be just alright, living in peace and harmony and love. And it was all going fine, very fine indeed until IM struck.
Mind you, IM was going pretty okay for a while. Sidrah used to enjoy the nice rock bands, and the funkaars of the month and their portrayal of their oh-so-important lives. Sidrah even enjoyed IM Requested at one stage. But maybe this is all because Sidrah was extremely young back then. With a highly degenerated mind. But Sidrah is sure of one thing, yes she is very sure of it: IM now officially sucks.
**No it doesnât! yell the Noori groupies.
Hey, howâd you get in here? Arenât you busy jumping up and down or something?
Sidrah receives a menacing glance from her editor. The say-your-sorry-before-I-fire-your-ass look.
I am sorry Noori groupies.**
Sidrah will now try and explain why she thinks IM sucks. For every correct argument, you need true premises, said Sidrahâs logic professor once.
Go turn on IM right now. Go on. Yes you, on your fat ass, reading this right now: Go turn on IM.
Now for those of you who did, tell me whatâs on? (and for those of you who didnât, you must learn to listen to Sidrah more often, moron) So yes, what is on? Is it a two-for-a-penny commercial poppy number? Is it Noori parading around colleges trying to sell their souls, with a free polo on the side? Is it Anoushey pretending to shy away from the flirtatious comments of dadoo? Or is it Faizan, grumbling in his âIâm so superior because I know everything about life and you donât know crap hence you are a dumbass toneâ? Hmm. Must be one of the above. Right? asks Sidrah.
But we like Noori and we donât give a crap if they start selling car parts, as long as theyâre on IM, yell the Noori fans.
Sidrah sighs and continues. We were trying to discuss â IM. IM, IM, IM. Dear, sweet IM. Letâs go back to the music. How can a sane normal person listen to any of the songs, continually played on IM all day long? How? How? HOW? Sidrah admits she has a secret crush on DJ Jashan, and that Paindoo song, will always have a special place in her heart â but what about the rest of the crap churned out by artists no one has ever heard of, who seem to have very rich daddies, who sponsor their videos.
Even the upcoming rock bands think that screaming in a microphone will mean that youâve came up with a hit number or that if you have a nice video, people wouldnât mind how the song is.
So? What do you think they should do? You ask.
Hmm. Sidrah rubs her hands and excitedly fishes out her suggestion. Maybe they should have a crappy-hour for all those bad pop songs, I mean, the poor soulsâ rich daddies have invested and why should their loaded bank accounts be emptied for a product that wonât even appear on TV? How would they ever hold their heads up high in their khandaans? How ever will they tell their childrenâs potential rishtaas, that their sons/daughters are multi-talented? That would be sad, no?
So a crappy-hour could be dedicated just for them. And the few hours of airtime left on IM (after the endless commercials) should be dedicated to good music. Sidrah would also like to see Pakistani music from the 90s as well. Sidrah was a young girlie back then, and she wasnât as interested in music as she was in NTM cartoons in that era. So she wants to see everything that she has missed.
Sigh.
Sidrah is fast growing old, and she gets tired very easily. She is tired right now. With so much off her mind, Sidrah has freed her mind for more important things, though; such as whatâs for dinner, whether she can catch an episode of American Idol, and even if she should pin her hair in a ponytail tomorrow. Also, God just told Sidrah that he is happy she has put the word out. He even promises her a job in a big hotshot newspaper one day.
Letâs see if God is true to his word.
*
