I’m not sure if this question has been discussed before, but if it has can the mods please direct me to that thread? Thanks.
Question:
Why is it that (and I don’t mean to generalize here) during Ramadan, most of the women focus themselves more towards preparing delicious Iftar and dinner rather than increasing their opportunity of Ibadah? For instance, in Pakistan I’ve observed that the women of the house in my khandaan don’t really go for taraweeh or give extra time to Quran just so that they can have more time in the kitchen.
This just saddens me for some reason. Is this because the women in our culture are mostly expected to be more involved in the house-chores, having pretty much no help from the men?
Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Peace Parakeet,
Kisi ko 'iftari' karwana ka bhi buhat ajar hy, if you know that :) I think it is not an easy task to prepare delicious food/meals without having a taste from it, for 'iftari' in kitchen surrounded with heated air + like u said reading more and more Qur'an. Furthermore, it is not mandatory for women to offer salah/traveeh in a Masjid but if one wish then there is no harm in that.
Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Peace LKK, with all due respect, what you just said is not very fair IMO. Just because it is not obligatory for women to pray in jamat, doesn't mean that they shouldn't be able to go to taraweeh or spend more time on ibadat vs preparing elaborate iftaars. This whole notion of having a huge Iftar spread followed by a huge dinner is irritating. Rozas are so long these days, that the short time between Iftar and Suhoor makes all that food redundant. Ramadan shoukd not be about elaborate spreads, it's about introspection and prayer/worship.
For those of us living abroad, going to taraweeh prayers at the masjid is very much a practice for women and it's unfair to expect wives, daughters or daughter in laws to miss out on that just for the sake of earning sawab by over feeding the men in the family. How about the whole family earning sawab through prayer and worship rather than slaving over kitchen duties? Aakhir unn auratonn ka bhi dil chaata hoga ke rozay ke haal main thora break miljai kitchen duties say...
Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Peace Khattichic,
Mein ne koi 'fatwa' thori diya hy jo ke u think its 'unfair' :) Just give me one example where a women pushed into the kitchen for 24/7 in the month of Ramadhan. So far I never came across any women complaining about that in real life.
Basically we at our home divided duties among us so that every one can get easily enough time to do Ibadaat as well as get some time to relax/refresh him/herself.
What I meant earlier that if there is some issue then one must speak to his family member rather then thinking/taking it negatively and put all blames on Men that they just kept them till kitchen. If they agreed then it is well & good and if not then there is no harm, precisely speaking it is not mandatory for women to go Masjid, forcefully.
I'm not surprise what u wrote, in fact there is a hadith where Hazrat Aisha r.a. asked Prophet PBUH that men go to the Masjid, do Jihad etc., and earn more 'good deeds', while we women are bound just in home. In response Prophet PBUH said if you do this or that household duty perfectly then you'll get equall 'good deeds' of men.
Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
I'm not debating the validity of the Hadith, I am familiar with it myself.
I am merely pointing out that as OP suggests, there is more emphasis put on food and feeding others than there needs to be IMO. Just look at the countless threads and blogs which are popping up in the past days here on GS. Most people here seem to agree that rather spend all that money on Iftar dawats, it's better to feed the poor. In the household forum, more and more posters are saying they are striking out double meals of heavy Iftar followed by dinner for the very reason that a)there just is not enough time to eat both b) the time spent in the kitchen
And I do now plenty of women, in my extended family as well as social circle who actually dread Ramadan because of the demands of full roti/paratha/salan sehris and then full Iftar menu followed by full dinner. So yes, those women feel slighted that they don't have the same opportunity to worship as they would like to.
I'm sorry of you feel I was accusing too personally of doing that, because that wasn't my intent. I agree that all members of the family need to work together and be accommodating of each other. However, I still believe that the majority of people still put more emphasis on elaborate food spreads than those who go with simple menus.
Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Peace khattichic,
No need to be sorry :) and I agree with u what u wrote above. btw I would like to know why women pushed into kitchen rather then letting them spend more and more time in ibaadat? What you observed? I means the main cause of it?
Khatti, with due respect, 75% of females seem to come to mosque, not for taraaweeh but to socialize. They talk so much during prayer that imam often has too announce several times for them to be quite. This problem is not in just one mosque but almost everywhere.
I think they will get more ajar if they do the same ibaadat at home.
Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Khatti, with due respect, 75% of females seem to come to mosque, not for taraaweeh but to socialize. They talk so much during prayer that imam often has too announce several times for them to be quite. This problem is not in just one mosque but almost everywhere.
I think they will get more ajar if they do the same ibaadat at home.
I agree especially wth little kids, they are crying n disturbing other also, I am not going bc of my baby
Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Peace All,
I think the thread is about ‘going towards Masjid by getting out from kitchen’. What they do in the Masjid and baby crying disturbance later on things to discuss.
Just for the sake of argument, I wonder why women wants to leave the kitchen especially in the month of Ramadhan.
Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Thank you for your feedback everyone.
When I posted my question, what I really had in my mind is that Ramadan is a month of an opportunity for everyone, both men and women to do extra Ibadah. Extra Ibadah here could mean reciting and understanding Quran with translation, tahajjud prayers, taraweeh prayers and more charity work. And IMO, man and woman both should have a chance of doing this extra Ibadah to increase the Imaan. Also, in my original post, Tarweeh was just an example. I'm very well aware that it is not obligatory on either man or woman.
I'm not blaming all the men here, all I'm saying is that why is the women expected to take all the extra responsibility of parathas during sehri and countless meals at iftar AND dinner. And in doing so, I've noticed women focusing more on just the kitchen chores even without men asking them to do so.
And LKK with all due respect, just because women are openly complaining about something doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
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I agree that all members of the family need to work together and be accommodating of each other. However, I still believe that the majority of people still put more emphasis on elaborate food spreads than those who go with simple menus
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Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Answer: To get more Ajar out of more Ibadah. I wont talk about all the women, but personally I do my share of work at home but I also like going to the masjid for Taraweeh because I get that peace of connecting with my Rab in Jamaat. Being surrounded by people who are there solely to praise and worship Allah (swt) is something you can’t experience at home. I agree women isn’t obligate to got to the Masjib, but shouldn’t she given a chance to experience offering Salah in Jamat? In a month where the ajar of worshiping is doubled?
Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Khatti, with due respect, 75% of females seem to come to mosque, not for taraaweeh but to socialize. They talk so much during prayer that imam often has too announce several times for them to be quite. This problem is not in just one mosque but almost everywhere.
I think they will get more ajar if they do the same ibaadat at home.
75% brother? Where did you get those stats from ?
And as for kids being brought to the mosque, that's another thread entirely. Probably to be discussed in the Parenting section?
Re: Balancing between house-chores and Ibadah for women.
Peace Parakeet,
Remember no thanx
With all due respect, I do wanna believe it does exist and with a very genuine reason. The whole scenario is not just straight forward like preventing traveeh b’coz of kitchen duties. No. When we discuss such issue we discuss/cover all aspects so that we conclude one answer and agreed upon that.
Glad to hear that. May Almighty Allah make it easy for you to offer Salah/Traveeh in a Masjid. Ameen. Ofcoz they should be given a chance to experience offering Salah/Traveeh in a Masjid but there might be some reasons b’coz of that they haven’t given the chance.
See its depends, every person is different from another and every house have different issues then another. In that case we can’t say all women should be prevented from going tto Masjid nor we can say all women should be allowed. Dealt case to case basis.
Glad to hear that. May Almighty Allah make it easy for you to offer Salah/Traveeh in a Masjid. Ameen. Ofcoz they should be given a chance to experience offering Salah/Traveeh in a Masjid but there might be some reasons b’coz of that they haven’t given the chance.