owning up to one’s mistakes - how easy or hard can it be and why?
any views?
Re: balance in relationship - personal responsibility
Hardest thing in the world is to owning up what you have done wrong. :o We tend to find excuses… 
Re: balance in relationship - personal responsibility
Depends on your personality. If you have confidence in yourself and your abilities, then you do owe up to your mistakes.
Re: balance in relationship - personal responsibility
absolutely correct.
a case in point:
it is blinding, when it is one sided
you have it
you are led on to it
you follow it honestly
all of a sudden you are up against a mistake of someone else and your own.
no owed explanation is given
frustration builds up
differences get created
the other side does not take the blame
the relationship becomes prey to a tragic failure
what do you do: back off and waste the effort or in all honesty make it work?
but it will only work, when both sides are present fully to do this.
if one side's mind and heart changes and deceives, personal responsibility is missing, then.
and that has to be felt before any positive change can take place.
sinking into ego or giving up is a weak thing to do.
true emotions of care and regard do not die that easy.
thus, in relationship building, the rocky ride of ups and downs has to be tolerated by both sides.
Re: balance in relationship - personal responsibility
being oneself can be perceived as a mistake by people who do not share, understand and /or repect your views.
Thus the very concept if "mistake" from a two people relationship point of view, is hard to define. I am more prone to consider that a real true deep, and PLAIN understanding comes from openess: if you allow the other one to know everything that you have in mind, and leave no secrets behind,, then the real true understanding can arise, and all differences will never come as hurdles between the two. BUT this stage of understanding, and sharing need time and MOST importantly full confidence, therefore it is extremely rare...and can only be achieved between real "soul mates"
Re: balance in relationship - personal responsibility
Parissenoor ^ you get to the very deep core of it. extremely well put. really true
confidence in each other. plain understanding of each other. respect is all that is essential.
also, owning up to one's own delayed right reactions or actions.
and it should not be that one side has to make the other side realize beyond a certain point, because then the feeling of care for each other seems to become a 'begged good'.
words cannot sum up that particular feeling of loss and shock when one is facing such a situation. even though, as you said it is rare. it is not impossible for anyone who can up hold the true place for openly sharing to unburden one's heart's weights.
time is of essence.
dushwari
Re: balance in relationship - personal responsibility
Peace All
I see mistakes and all responses to them being a rather reactionary approach to balancing relationships.
The way I would address personal responsibility in balancing relationships is trying ones level best not to 'make mistakes'. Especially not those ones that can be avoided.
There are some cases where simple honesty just will not work in regards to making mistakes in relationships; for example:
Man says >> "'O honey ... I think the lady next door is rather cute!"
Hmm! You see what I mean?
People need to realise that the odds of making mistakes is heavily against them.
Here is why:
1) We all have egos
2) We are subjected to the perils of Shaytanic whispers
3) We have a tendancy to forget things, like promises and much less.
4) We use only part of our true mental capacities in general walks of life.
5) We have to rely on communication to express our thoughts, which could be misunderstood.
Aaah ... where is the trust? Let me put this to yo! 100% trust can only be in God. Heck can people even trust themselves? We must always trust in God to bestow in us trustworthiness for each other. Then at the same time we need work on things like:
Forgiveness: For those who wrong us, and
Proactive avoidance of mistakes: To minimise the 'fitnah' of being put into a situation where trust is all we have to keep things going.
Re: balance in relationship - personal responsibility
If the communication between people is strong, then owning upto any mistakes should not be difficult.
Its when you think how you will be judged by the other that you get discouraged by admitting your mistake.
Also, the person on the other end should realise that if he/she him/herself had committed the same mistake, how would he/she have reacted. ie when i break a favorite vase, i get disappointed but quickly forget. If house-help or kid does the same, then why do i go on and on about it? Why can I not give them the same reaction as I would have given myself?
If people follow this philosophy, it would be a lot easier to own up and get on with life.