How can i tell my cousin that her kids are just realllllllllllllyyy naughty. everyone knows her 3 yr old is very very spoilt. i think i may have mentioned before on thsi forum. however its now getting to the point where people are saying something but shes getting all offended. her own mother said it, and she said yeh yeh you just like ur sons kids more, not ur daughters kids, …and she went off on one, and was offnded, my uncle saw that her 3 yr old was HITTING/PUNCHING his kid whose 8, and his other kid whose 5, he then picked up her kid and put him in the corner, he just cried at the top of his lungs, his mum came picked him up and took him outside, she was then distant the whole evening.
she cant take anyone saying anything negative, he gets away with murder, she just stands there looking. i want to slap HER as well. however i then get the oh wait til u have kids …
There is not much that you can say to her without facing her wrath I suppose.
I have faced people like this and sometimes wondered what I can do to help. The only thing that has been successful for me is to work on the child and look for a break-through there.
There is one kid in our social circle that is totally out of control. The problem is that he is not out of control because he is malicious or because he wants to be bad; it is just becuase he is the third and gets pretty much no attention.....or maybe not as much as he needs.
Instead of yelling at him I tried reaching out to him. Treated him like an intelligent person, gave him credit for understanding and listening to me and celebrated every little success he had. Suddenly he loves me and will do anything I ask him to. The parents also appreciate that I understand their child.
I can't do anything to fix the adults but I can reach out to the child and have some level of control when he is in our company.
He doesnt listen, hes only 3, but i cant remember a single momment when hes not hitting/punching/spitting, unless hes alsp.when hes aslp, people KNOW.
the last straw was yday, when he was hitting another kid, full on punnches, and his mum rahter than pick him up and take him away, she was like telling the other kid to move away....huh...
seriously makes me want to smack not just her, but her kid. ive never felt the urge to smack another kid as much as i did yday. i think others felt it too, so thats why her sulky face later in the day when her mum said something to her.
i think il talk to soon, but shes so jumpy and easily gets offended, its best to not.
Nadz and co, boy do I have sympathy for all of you as my cousins are well erm lack disapline to say the least.
My Mami (aunt) doesn't understand that spoiling children is fine as long as it's done in moderation. Now she has 8 & 7 year old boys who won't eat what she cooks and when they visit someones house they walk in, demand food and start throwing cushions and throws all over the room, and demand they get to play on computer games. They don't drink water, and one of them has had such a bad school report my uncle hit the roof (problem here is my uncle does the disaplining and whilst he's at work the kids get spoiled). They also have two little girls, who will only watch tom and jerry, won't eat properly and have actually pulled each others hair out (clumps of it!). They're nearly 4 years old. The kids get chalak with other family, speak out of turn and do not use their manners. After working with children for over 3 years I can only say that in most cases if a parent doesn't address the situation it's because they don't see anything wrong with it. I'm being serious, I've seen a women being smacked in the face by a 3 1/2 year old boy, and his mum was like "beta don't hit mama, esa naa karo darling". When I asked her about the situation at hand, she replied with her son shows her he loves her with the violent acts (!!!!!).
I've tried talking to my aunt, and she gets extra protective. The only reason I spoke to her is I was worried about what action the school may take (e.g. expelling the children from school at such a young age). My aunt got on her high-horse and said she was brought up like her children and did her no harm. Some people simply to do wish to listen Nadz.
this reminds me of of friend telling me about a spoiled kids around the same age who came for a dinner party at her place. The child was misbehaving to the extreme, hitting other kids, throwing tablewear on the floor, putting things in the fish tank, and they all looked at all this patiently (parents smiled and cooed theeir child the whole time) when she started putting things in the air vent, and my friends husband just picked up the kid and made her stand infront of him and looked at her the child cried like anything and the parents just took the kid and left the home and said they don't ever want to see my friend and her husband again. When I heard that I was like OMG, this is how the parents are raising the child and tehn they blame the society anf friends for things that they do later in life.
May be someone who your cousin respects can talk to her and make her understand because she only has a year or so to take control of his behaviour otherwise things can get totall y out of control.
I used to be scared that my son will be like this too because he had too much energy and was very curious kind of child, we just tried to channel his energies in the right direction and trust me it is doable. he is still handful to be honest it is hard to keep up with him sometimes lakin we are on his case as much as we should be, 'time out' is our best friend and my son I am sure will be thankful once he grows up to be a decent human being inshallah that his parents (esp. his mother) were reasonably strict.
I think trying to raise decent kids is a social resposibilty.
Thats the thing, if someone does tell the kids off, the parents will sulk about it. my uncle did the same the other day to my cousins kid, he put him in the corner and told him in a loud voice not to hit kids, ( after all, he was hitting my uncles kids), and what happned?My cousins reply? she picked up her kid, took him outside and sat seperated from the entire gahtering the rest of the time. and was in a major sulk.
hey chic-chick how do u handle yur so energetic son, my son is also so energetic and curious. its really difficult to keep up with this kind o fkid, especially when u have other kids too. i really feel bad of not giving him enough time.
