so I may be an anomaly, gave up bunch of things before getting married because begum wanted me to or rather i knew she did not like them, her expectations were not that I would give up right away but that I will start cutting down, but I gave it all up. smoking, clubs, other dodgy activities that shall remain unstated etc.
seen others do it to. question is whether you are doing it for someone else, how much that someone means to you, whether that person had made you see your errors and you want to fix it for yourself regardless or partially its for yourself and partially because someone very dear to you does not like some of your habits/activities.
oh yeah btw, anyone who says smoking cant be quit cold turkey needs a dose of will power.
Good on you for stopping those habits which you felt were dodgy. And huge props for quitting smoking cold turkey. I did as well and it was very tough ; but eventually I got over that hump and feel so much better that I did.
As far as changing yourself for someone else; it's quite tricky. I believe the main push has to come from within; otherwise eventually , at some point, even if it is years; that resentment will creep in.
hahaha yes, btw desi definition of bad habits is rather narrowly focused is is essentially against broads bars and beers.
what about bad habits after marriage where guys stop taking care of their appearance and instantly get a little toond as a pet, or become boring uncles discussing politics at the drop of a hat at any event..putting away those stylish jeans and getting loose fitting kurta shalwars because then as they gain weight, it all still fits..etc
those are bad habits too
Toond pets and loose fitting kurta shalwars; the leading cause of divorce according to 4 out of 5 mediators. :p
itz v true...for the first few days of the marriage u can pretend to be nice or dun show up ur bad habits but after sometime u r just the same as you were b4 marriage ..thatz y words like **Compromise, sacrifice are attached to marriage, this is the basic compromise that u have to do with the other partner----with his/her bad or good habits...
And no one can change for the partner atleast, yes people do adjust themselves with the situation to survive...**
I have felt the taste of many sides of marriage life. When I was a student I always used to hear 'jitna merzi parrh lo, aagay ja kay handi chholha hi kerna parrta hai har larrki ko' I hated that statement and used to think that I have a masters degree so I will manage everything (I never bother to think about HOW) and now after marriage I have to manage all the household tasks that I didn't even experience before marriage. I can't believe that it's ME who never forced herself for anything, and now I HAVE TO.
Marriage life can change you if you feel your responsibilities. It brings many positive changes in your personality too I must agree.
My other-half smokes (only rarely eg. if he's stressed but still..) and I hate it.. I really really really hope he manages to get rid of that bad habit cos otherwise it'll drive me mad..
I have felt the taste of many sides of marriage life. When I was a student I always used to hear 'jitna merzi parrh lo, aagay ja kay handi chholha hi kerna parrta hai har larrki ko' I hated that statement and used to think that I have a masters degree so I will manage everything (I never bother to think about HOW) and now after marriage I have to manage all the household tasks that I didn't even experience before marriage. I can't believe that it's ME who never forced herself for anything, and now I HAVE TO.
Marriage life can change you if you feel your responsibilities. It brings many positive changes in your personality too I must agree.
i agree..infact i have a cousin who was force to leave studies..she wanted to study but her dad didnt allow and then her mom use to say same..jitna bhi parlo agai ja kar handi cholha he kerna parta hai...now she is in us..happily married but sometimes she says i wish i had finish my studies so today i would not had to face so many problems