Re: Baby showers, godh bharai, etc.
I have thrown 3 baby showers for my friends, all potlucks but I always ask what people want to make or their speciality. I keep the rice dish and dessert for myself so if someone to whom either of these were assigned, doesn't turn up these main items won't be missed. I put up baby shower decorations, get a cake and have favors (stuff from Party cCty).
We also do goodh bharai in that baby shower to give it a desi touch. I myself add a little something for the mom to be along with the gift for the baby eg a small "travel bag" filled with lotion, deoderant, comb, toothbrush, empty address book, pen and a $5-10 phone card (for calls to Pakistan) etc.
Men come too but they sit separetly and join in for dinner only as most people are uncomfortable with a joint shower. we make it a point to wear kaam wala joras and all.