When I went to Pakistan, my relatives all tried to pressure me into having a kid. When I came back, I found out that my mother too thinks I should have one. I’m just not ready but that’s besides the point. What I found interesting was that most people would say that they would pray that I would have a baby boy. At that point, i’d respond with, well I’ll pray I have a baby girl. Either way, i would just pray that the baby be healthy but there is a girly part of me that would be thrilled if the baby was a girl cause then i could dress her up all girly . But it seems when/if I get pregnant, the whole family will be praying for a boy. That bothers me. If i was pregnant, i wouldn’t pray for a girl or a boy, i’d just pray that the kid be healthy.
Does this happen to anyone else or am I alone? If i could pick the gender of my child, i’d chose a girl but if God gives me a boy or a girl, i’d be happy either way whereas it seems many of my family members seem to be stuck on this OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE GOD LET IT BE A BOY. I thought this kinda thinking was diminishing but i encountered it first hand and i was shocked.
Does anyone think this way? Do you guys pray for boys? or girls? Would it bother you if your family members prayed for a specific gender?
OH and I know that many people on this board are n ot married but feel free to answer cause i’m sure you can think bout it and come up with an intelligent response
I have a feeling that these days its actually a trend to ask for baby grls among desi young couples... I have no idea how and why is the mentality changed but I have observed it around and even I actually want to have a baby grl as a my first child so I can doll her up. oh well probably its only me who has noticed this change around!!!
I'm the eldest in my siblings n I remember how I wished for an elder brother all my life n specially in teen years. So for my own kids I secretly wished that my daughter/s have an elder brother if I have any kids. Even then I could never pray for a boyor a girl....I just prayed for a healthy baby.After my first boy I was just set to have a girl:) n i'm glad I got a princess after 2 boys, Alhamdulillah
n my in laws are the type who really spoil the girls with soooo much love ....boys r loved too but girls are just more cared for.
but in distant relatives I've seen the trend of praying for boys only.....my own mother was teased for not having a boy but all girls....but so what! have a child n you'll experience the difference this lil one will make for you ,regardless of gender
I always thought that an eldest son would be the most politically correct family......maybe cuz I grew up that way....I dunno. But I'm so happy that Allah blessed me with a baby girl. She's my buddy and I love dressing her up.
definitely most people wish for a boy, and that also makes me mad, becuz there are sooo many diseases and defects out there, that it truly is a blessing and miracle to have a healthy baby, and i can't see why that wouldn't be everyone's top wish, instead of which gender it should be
I can sooo relate to you Solar oceans.
I can't put in words how bad I wanted a girl and
ALLAH mian blessed me with one too.
I started buying girl clothes from the very beginning of my pregnancy when
there was no way of knowing the gender of the baby. I just couldn't resist.
Girl clothes looked sooo cute. That's the way I was/am.
My cousins wife is expecting her fourth, they had a daughter nine months after marriage and when she was pregnant just months after hte first daughter was born, everyone was like lets hope its a boy! (it was a boy ) and now he has a lil sister and i said aww it wud be cute if he had two lil sisters n my relatives were all like 'bakwaas band kar! Allah rahm karay !"
My other cousin who got married a yr ago started crying when he found out his wife delivered a grl..
I am a girl so therefore i relate better with girls? i don't know, that sounds stupid. In my family my parents gave preference to my brother because drumroll please he is a boy. I would like to have a girl to give her everything i didn't have, to make her feel cherished by her parents, etc. It sounds a bit messed up but i'd live vicariously (sp?) through her esp. since i know Matt would adore her Insha-Allah. My dad didn't really pay attention to me. It would be amazing to watch her with her father. She's going to get all the love that I didn't and then some, Insha-Allah.
As for Matt, he doesn't care if its a boy or a girl as long as he can play basketball with him/her. I only really have his example. . . so i don't know how guys feel about this or which gender they prefer.
That happens to me too when I say I want a girl when they say i should have a boy. (not that i’m against having boys). My aunt goes, array yeh tho pagil han.
Don’t worry, you’ll put on weight. AFter the first baby, you’ve devloped an appetite, and unless you diet and exercise like crazy after the birth the chances are, your hips will expand and you’ll deposit fat.
solar oceans...yup, you're right. most desi families ..or should i say future grandparents would like to have boys come first into the family, especially them traditional type of desi families...
as long as you and the baby are healthy and safe, it shouldn't matter if it's a girl or a boy..
..oh ..and btw, there's a common misconception that it's the woman's egg that decides if it's a boy or girl. i gotta tell you, that it's wrong. it's the guy! so whenever somone throws that at you...you know that it's them guys who make it a boy or girl...
Its stupid but id like ot have baby boys first coz 1, theres a huge lack of decent nice young desi guys :( (its really hard to find one!) and 2, its nice having big brothers around to protect you :D
. But it seems when/if I get pregnant, the whole family will be praying for a boy. That bothers me. If i was pregnant, i wouldn’t pray for a girl or a boy, i’d just pray that the kid be healthy.
Sorry. Don’t kill the messenger.