Why boys are preferred when it comes to having babies in desi community? Older folks will pray for you to Allah that he gives you a boy. MIL will get annoyed if the first born is a girl. She forgets that she was born a girl.
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
I would say that many families are thinking differently now but there is still a large percentage that prefers having boys. I know, I have two daughters and many aunties say “bechari” to me and pray for a boy for me 
. In fact a lot of people ask me if I’m planning to have a boy… yeah, I’ll just go to the grocery store and buy one 
.
Anyhow, I think this attitude stems from our cultural belief that having a son provides security for the future. It’s also a symbol of superiority. However, if we bring in the religious perspective, our culture has it all wrong.
I think kids are a blessing no matter what gender. Looking at so many people who have trouble conceiving or having normal babies, I think our focus should be to thank God for a healthy child. And that’s it.
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
I think because they associate sons with wealth perhaps? A girl will marry and move away. A son will inherit, carry on the family name and take care of you etc etc etc
Anyways, whatever the reason is, its dumb and no one has the right to make a woman feel "bad" for having a daughter ---thats just sick and wrong wrong wrong! Niksik is right, a baby is a baby is a blessing!!!!!! Its Allah who decides and gives, so people really need to grow up and stop being so ungrateful!
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
^ i agree
ah such perfect timing..
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/304997-gifts-grooms-side.html
i hope this can answer part of your question.
One reason girls are seen as a burden b/c when they marry, they will incur alot of expenses, mostly giving crap to the in-laws, making elaborate/expensive jahez/dowery etc…
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
In the US, it doesnt matter if you're a boy or girl...its all the same. Boys marry and move out just as much as girls do. I dont see it as being that much of a problem here. We're four girls and my parents never wished it any differently. I grew up occasionally hearing my dadi say things to my mom and it was wierd to me. I used to think what is a boy going to do in a house full of hair dryers, bobby pins and lipstick?
he he - I feel the same way. I don’t get bechari but I get “tumhara sahara koun banay ga?”
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
Seriously - what do you say to people like that?
I want more kids but I don't want any of this "stupid" pressure on me.
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
You don't say anything to them because they have very strong opinions. It doesn't matter what people think at the end of the day.
Now when people express their concerns for me, I just say "aap dua keraiN, jo Allah ki merzi hai," because if you get into an argument with them, it's like beating your head against the wall.
Jahils.
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
What is really sad is how some women have multiple children out of the pressure of producing a son. It almost seems like other people are always more interested and concerned for you than you yourself. I remember other women in the family praying for me to have a son. I was only concerned about having a healthy baby. But like people were doing wazeefas and all, for me, why? It's not like my son would be their saviour eh?
Anyhow, I have seen many ladies who go on having one girl after another because their families pressurize them and in the process give up on their health and looking after the children they already have.
I know of a family where exactly the same thing happened , they had a boy first and then 6 girls in an attempt to have another boy , finally they had a boy that is when they stopped , otherwise I guess they would keep on going. 
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
Well good for them. At least they got a boy. I know a lady who has had 4 girls and is planning on her fifth even though she lost the 4th daughter due to congenital issues and is not in good health herself 
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
Why is it that if anyone mentions oh I wish to have a baby boy...the whole anti clan has like 1001 duas for you to read....like read this, jump up n down 10 times...clap your hands 25 times, walk backward sand Poof you will have a boy....
Are there any duas to pray to have a baby girl?
:)
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
Afro 
Don’t forget to eat sookhi roti dipped in a cup of hot blasting doodh for 7 days and 7 hours on the 7th day of the 7th month…not only will you have a boy, but he’ll be so safed chitta 
Anyhoo, there are duas for having healthy children yes.
There’s nothing wrong in making dua for a specific gender. I mean someone with sons may want daughters. Why not. But obsessive compulsive behavior is not healthy.
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
My MIL was saying she will be praying for us during the Hajj, "Allah Miah tumey behta deye"
My husband is the only son from 5 who doesnt have a son yet!
But thank God my husband says, jo Allah ki merzi, we already have a daughter and if we get another, he is still happy, so there is no pressure for me, the MIL is praying as being a mom she wishes one for her son, but also adores our daughter, its normal to pray for a son in our desi society I guess.
Re: Baby gender preference in desi community.
my inlaws were very khaffa when my 2nd daughter was born and asked me to not give birth 2 more females. They are both so pretty, intelligent but… the thing is that my dewar himself has 2 daughters, so no boys in our home yet. Maatam hai iss wajah se hamaray ghar mein 